Learning to Breathe
by Twicenumbed
Summary: Learning to breathe, learning to stand tall, speaking out and finding your place in the world. The journey of the Gorillaz from the beginning to the start of Demon Days. 2D fosters a small fire for Murdoc along the way, but he never did get what he wanted
1. Chapter 1: Welcome to the Jungle

Two indistinct shapes loomed near the gates of the long vacant Kong Studios. Rain pelted the earth in large, hard drops, soaking the figures and putting a damper on the volume. "Yew know, I din'n fink there were any 'ills in Essex." The taller man had dark blue hair plastered to the sides of his face despite only being in the rain a few minutes.

"You 'ave to have a brain to think." Shaking his thick, black mop-top the shorter of the pair started walking back to the Winnebago.

His friend followed behind, "aw come on, Murdoc, be nice." The only response was the slamming of the car door. As the gangly boy climbed into the Winnie it started off, pushing the gates to the studio aside with ease. Mud squelched under the tires as they made their way up the staggering hill to the carpark.

Slowly the vehicle rolled to a stop and each hopped out. "Best git on with it then." Murdoc tried to open the door to the building, and, finding it wouldn't budge, ended up kicked it in. His friend followed behind, wringing his hands together and letting his gaze linger at the muddy footprint of a Cuban heel on the door. He kept close to the smaller man, not wanting to stray in a strange place. But he followed a bit too closely and when Murdoc stopped briefly to glance at what looked strangely like a blood stain on the carpet he promptly crashed into him. "Gah! 2D. Back. Up." He gave him a 'got it?' look before turning and muttering under his breath.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry 'bout that…" His voice was small and trailed off. The building was quiet, save for the muted noise of rain and their footfalls. As they continued farther there would be a creaky floorboard or the sound of the walls settling, but nothing too abnormal. 2D's eyes focused on a spot on the ceiling where water was dripping through. He merely looked up at it, blinking, watching as each drop fell to the growing puddle on the ground.

Murdoc watched him for a bit, reminded of a turkey in the rain, before continuing down one of the halls. Even when he was with Stuart the Satanist couldn't quiet shake the feeling that something was gravely wrong. Part of him reveled in it, loving all the sick vibes that seemed to pulse from the place. But there was a smaller part, somewhere hidden in him, that knew this was a very bad sign. Never the less he continued down the maze of hallways, some leading to dead ends and others leading to more hallways with more doors and more decaying building. After he had gone around a bit he started to recognise some of the rooms. Eventually he paced about what he had deemed the main living area. He looked around briefly before walking over to the restrooms. "Oi! Stu-Pot! Toilets are ova 'ere if ya need 'em!" Strolling into the room he walked into one of the stalls and unzipped his fly. Murdoc gave a sigh of relief that was cut short as he heard something wet hit the floor behind him. "JESUS CHRIST!"

Stuart spun around from watching the puddle take over the floor and tried to locate the source of the yell. His dented eyes looked around frantically, before he started off at a brisk pace through the hallways. A gunshot sounded through the building and 2D full out ran. The studio let out a groan, as if offended by all the noise after being quiet for so long but another round was fired and the sound of it pierced the frantic singer's ears. After what seemed like forever he found the toilets and slammed through the door. Murdoc was on the floor, nob hanging out and piss on his pants, and only a meter or two away was a zombie, head splattered against the wall.

Knees giving out, "wot va Hell is that? I mean… wot th'…" His eyes widened into twin pits.

Murdoc ran a hand through his hair and thanked whoever was listening that he'd brought his gun with him. Standing shakily, "well, looks li'e we best keep our guns on us, mate." He looked down to his soiled trousers. "Satan…" Wiggling out of them he stepped out of the stall and made for the Winnebago, patting Stuart on the shoulder as he went.

…

"When d'you start workin'?" The bassist looked across his motor home.

2D was laying on the couch, spread out across the whole thing. "Munday at four."

He nodded. "So, wait 'at's next Monday, right?" There was a small noise of conformation. "Okay so we 'ave a week an' a half. Yew any good at painting, Stu?"

A slight pause, "wull, I mean, I can get real high up on tha ceilings, if that's wot yer askin'."

"Right, so yull get that an' I'll get someone in 'ere to do flooring or something… The 'lectricity works, thank Satan, but we'll need ta fix up them leaks. And then there's movin' in all the furniture and buyin' a washer an' a fridge an'—"

The singer groaned and rolled onto his side. "I don't wanna fink about it. One day at a time, pleeease."

He crossed his arms. "A'right. Tomorrow we're going to go buy paint and get carpets or tile or whatevea started in. I hope you 'ave your room all sorted out, because you ain't sleepin' in here all the time."

An almost sorry smile flashed onto the singer's face, there and gone in a moment. _Well, I guess I should have my own bedroom and all… It'd be a bit weird to always sleep in the same bed as your best mate, even if it is nice… And it _is_ nice… even if I wake up with a stiffy sometimes. But that's normal, right? _He shook his head, making the thoughts disappear like smoke. His long legs found the floor as he got up to down his pills and head to bed. Some things were easier to just not think about.

The next few days passed in a tired haze, working from the time they woke up till they were too sore to keep going. Stuart had paint in his hair and along his skin from being careless. His mate kept telling him to wash up better but until he started work the next day he didn't see a real reason to.

Long legs reached the cheap table they had set up in the living room. The whole place smelled of new paint and this sort of funny chemical smell from the flooring. Their couch came from Stu's mum. She had said something about if her son had to live in that rubbish heap of a house he'd at least have a couch. He had also brought over his bed and some furniture from his old room to Kong as well. The boy had made a home away from home in one of the lower bedrooms.

Okay, it was in the basement, but he liked being out of the way. Besides, it was perfect for when he got migraines and needed quiet. But as something creaked deep within the building he found himself scooting closer to the man beside him. It didn't feel safe to be walking around by yourself. It always seemed like… something was watching you. For the first few days most of the progress on the house was getting all of it's undead residents out so now that they were gone there really shouldn't have been a reason for that feeling…

Murdoc's eyes opened a bit as he felt the singer move closer to him. He had been weaving in and out of sleep, despite it being five in the evening. The small telly in front of the pair had again fallen out of signal and into static. They hadn't gotten cable set up yet, or gotten any phones for the house. Being this cut off from people made part of the Satanist smile. He could do anything he wanted and there was no one to bother him. Well, there was 2D, but he never put up that much of a fight.

"Hey, let's go to the Winnie… Yer fallin' asleep anyway." The man stood up as his dented eyes looked around the room worriedly. He extended a hand to help his friend off the couch but it was ignored. Murdoc stood on his own and took the lead to go to the car park. Stuart followed in tow, keeping close to his companion.

When the pair reached the Winnebago the bassist looked at the taller man. "You're sleeping with me tonight, aren't chya?" It wasn't a negative or positive statement, simply just a statement. A small blush threatened to creep onto Stu's face. He nodded, not wanting to say anything. Murdoc just shrugged and walked into his home, leaving the door open for Stuart.

This is the first rewritten chapter. I plan on going back through the story and rewriting nearly everything. This chapter update was on 9.09.10.


	2. Chapter 2: Guitar Shop

A warm breeze pushed its way around the Kong building. 2D was on the balcony, curled in on his notebook. His hair caught in the wind with each gust. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a rubber band and proceeded to tie his hair back in a short bob.

Murdoc walked into the kitchen and grabbed his keys from the counter. His mismatched eyes caught on the figure outside. Stuart had his hair in a ponytail again. How many times did he have to tell him it made him look like a girl before he stopped doing it? He walked to the door and opened it as quietly as he could. Stu was so wrapped up in his writing that he didn't notice the creeping presence behind him. Murdoc tensed his legs for a second before he jumped around 2D and slammed his feet down while howling.

"Jesus-fuck!" The singer flinched away so violently that is caused him to roll backwards and to the side. Of course Murdoc burst into laughter while 2D tried to catch his breath. He kept starting to say words but they'd break halfway through and be replaced with another gasp of air. Leanng over him, "scared you good, didn' I?"

Finally sitting up right again the blue-haired man sucked in another, final deep breath. "Don't _do_ 'at!" His hands clutched at his notebook.

Murdoc just shrugged. "So wotter you doing?" He recognised the notebook as the one Stuart wrote songs in. He debated making a grab for it, but decided he really didn't care that much. 2D had opened his mouth to start talking when he cut him off. "Yeah that's great. Look, I'm gunna try an' find someone, yeah? Dunno how long I'll be gone."

A frown started to tug at the singer's lips, "awright." His mind wanted to say a bit more but he found he couldn't figure out the words.

"Yep," the bassist rolled back on his heels, "yep. So I'll be seein' ya around." He walked back into the house- leaving the door open- and from the kitchen he yelled back, "oh, and git yer hair outta that ponytail, yew look like a faggot." The other just scowled and went back to scribbling in his book.

"Hello? ….hellooo? HEY!"

Stu blinked a few times and looked at the girl in front of him as if he had just noticed she was there. He had been standing at the front counter of his new job at the music store. Apparently he'd been staring off into space, again. Hands that weren't his own took the guitar strings from the girl and rung them up. "'Ave a nice day." The girl scoffed and walked off.

He had been listening to someone playing guitar. It only figures that he'd started daydreaming. The person had been playing all day and they were really good. _Good enough to be in a band…?_ By the time the music stopped he realised that it was nearly time for him to go home. A tall woman came around from the back, holding a guitar case in one hand. She had walked out the door before Stuart realised it had been her playing.

"Ah-! Oi! Hey, wait up." Long legs sprung forward as he rushed to catch up with her. "'Ey, sorry, but yew were tha one playin' all day, wright?"

She gasped when she looked at his face, taken aback by his eyes. But she quickly looked away and when she looked back she made no indication that she had been shocked. "Yeah, 'at was me."

Stuart smiled- another flicker of fear from her- and held out his hand. "I um, ''M 2D, and uh well, I wos wonderin' if maybe you'd like to hang out or sommfink sometimes. Go get a cuppa tea, yeah?"

There was a slight hesitation before she gingerly reached out her hand. "You're certainly an odd one. I'm Paula."

He laughed. "Yeah, I, well, my mate an' I are starting up a band kinda. And we're lookin' for a guitarist and I was listenin' to yew play all day and yer really good and you're pretty too and I was just finkin' youmightwanttohangout." The end of the sentence was a slur of speech, all the words mashed together. He realised he'd said too much but couldn't really stop himself once he got going. His shoe toed at the ground.

There was a pause while Paula was trying to sort his words into English. When she understood it she laughed. "Well cheers. I mean, yer pretty handsome yerself." She gave a quick glance around the carpark. "Yew know wot? I fink I might jus' hang out wiff yew. I figure, why not? Here." Pulling out a small piece of paper she wrote down her name and number. "Yew take this an' we'll arrange sommink?"

He took the scrap of paper and gave a giant grin. "Awright! I'll call yew sometime soon. Take care, yeah?" Paula eyed him up and down again before smiling and walking to her car.

No one was home when he returned to Kong. It somehow felt more empty. The tall man sat down on their sofa and pulled out the scrap of paper from his pocket. Is it too desperate to call someone right after you get their number? Shoving it back in his trousers he grabbed the flicker and turned on the tellie. No use worrying about it, he'd call her tomorrow, that's not too bad.

The tv echoed slightly through the room. Before he knew it the sun had set and the old house was dark, shadows pooling in the corners and around the doorframes. 2D started when he heard a creak. Suddenly aware of his surroundings he went over and flicked on a light. His mobile told him it was too late to be awake if he wanted to get to work on time tomorrow. So he set about moving down to his bedroom, turning on the lights in the next room before turning off the lights where he was. Kong wasn't a good place to be in the dark.

Finally he reached the carpark, the familiar smell of cold concrete and old vehicles making him relax. It wasn't the first night he'd spent in his room, but now, more often than not, he'd sleep with Murdoc in the Winnie. His bed seemed empty without someone there. Maybe that girl, Paula, could hang out in here with him. It'd certainly make the place feel more welcome, give it some good memories. Letting it breathe and write a story for the space. That'd be good. He mashed his face into his pillow and tried to fall asleep.

"'Ello, ah, Paula? This is ah, 2D. From the music store, yeah?" The singer bit his bottom lip during the slight pause of her remembering.

"Oh yeaaah! 'Ey there. Are yew free today? I'd luv to come ova and jam with yew."

He smiled. "Yeah! Yeah, 'at's just wot I was gunna ask. Ah 'ere, do yew 'ave a pen, I'll give you the address." After he prattled off where Kong was he hesitated. "Um, ''m prolly gunna meet you at tha front gate. It's ah, well 'is place can get a bit weird and I don't wanna scare yew off that quick." A nervous laugh escaped him. God it had been a long time since he'd taken interested in a girl…

The man waited outside the gates of Kong, eyes searching the ground for something that wasn't there. It was a long time before Paula showed up, he'd almost decided to go in, to say fuck it, but that just wasn't like him. He would have waited until the sun started to go down. But finally a beat up old car putted up the drive. Stuart felt his heart flutter. She came.

"'Ey! Sorry about 'at. I couldn't find tha place. I fought, yew know, it couldn't be 'is creepy old place. Yew shoulda told me, everyone knows 'is creepy old 'ouse."

He laughed and a slight blush started to rise in his cheeks. "I guess I didn't fink about it. Anyway, come on, let's go inside, yeah?"

Paula followed right beside him, taking strong strides and looking over the scenery. When they went inside she crinkled her nose but quickly hid it when the singer turned to her. "Sorry 'bout tha mess. We ah, we jus' moved and it wasn't exactly um, yew know. Good," he finished lamely.

"It's not so bad," she lied. Stu knew she was probably lying but didn't think anything of it. "So, 'is place got a studio? Or do yew jus' rock out onna couch?"

His face lit up, "yeah! We got our own schtudio a floor down. We can take tha lift." Gangly legs led the girl to the lift and then down into the studio. Currently they 'studio' consisted of their instruments tossed around the room, empty crisp bags, half finished cans of beer, sheet music in disarray, and amps and plugs weaving an obstacle course on the floor. "Umm, don't um, mind tha mess… We don't usually 'ave anyone else in 'ere." He took a seat in the office seat and spun around. "''S not much now, but it's well luved."

Paula carefully walked over to a counter and cleared a space for her to sit. She set her guitar case on the floor and pulled it out and onto her lap. 2D watched as she played a few chords and ended in playing a bit of a song he swore he knew but yet couldn't put his finger on. "So, d'yew 'ave any songs yew want ta work on? Or are we just gunna jam out to wotever?"

Dented eyes had fixated on her fingers as they stroked the neck of the guitar. He shook his head and looked at her. "Uhhhh, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, I got some music 'ere is yew wanna go frew summa it."

Fumbling around some wrappers Stuart retrieved a few pages of sheet music. "This is some a the stuff we've worked out. I don't fink much of it's final but i''s all we 'ave right now." He placed the papers on a music stand and watched her pluck out the tunes. She played them through a bit, then after she felt she had a bit of a grip on them, asked Stu to sing the lyrics while she played. Nodding his head as if to an unheard beat he walked up to the mic and counted them into the first song.

"Said to myself, "I'll go up," make up for myself I'll never. Always thought I was a firestarter. Then another day to shut up." His voice was bright, bringing life to the song as he sang to her guitar. It was awesome hearing guitar parts put to his vocals. He and Murdoc had played together before, but the bass was more of a solid underbeat, it was something quite different to hear the more melodic notes of the guitar singing with his voice. "I fink we've got it. I'll 'ave to run it by Murdoc but I'm sure 'e'll love you."

Paula stroked her guitar lovingly before putting it back in its case. "'Ey, want to get some drinks?"

He wasn't sure how, but from that statement alone he somehow knew he was getting laid that night…

Rewritten Feb 14, 2012.


	3. Chapter 3: Pulling Together

**Chapter 3: Pulling Together**

Murdoc Niccals returned to Kong at about 5 pm the next day. His arrival was announced by screeching tires and several blaring honks of the Winnie's horn. Stu brought Paula out to the carpark and waited outside the trailer. The door was kicked open and sure enough, Russel Hobbs was shoved out of the Winnebago. Now, the strange thing was the fact that there was a bag tied around his head. He seemed perfectly capable of taking it off but one just supposed he was humoring his captor. The man could have easily held his own if it was necessary.

The black haired man hopped out of his motor home and tugged the sack off Russel's head. He just looked around, examining 2D, Paula, and finally Murdoc. Slowly he folded his arms over his chest. "Yeah, this was fun and all, but somehow I don't seem to understand. Tell me, why ask for a record and then kidnap me? I only stuck around because you don't look like you could really do any damage. But really, of all the places you couldn't have picked somewhere more interesting? You know, more sinister? You guys got nothing on the gangs back in New York."

Giving a low chuckle Murdoc looked up at the man. "Yew seem pretty calm about this." He licked his lips, "You see, we're starting up the world's best rock band 'ere. And well, if I've done my lookin' correctly you seem to be quite the drummer. Hows about you join up with us?"

The giant just stood there and tapped his foot. After a moment he sighed, "Right, well, if you guys have a decent thing goin', I'll think about it. If it's shit music, I'm beatin' you all Brooklin style, jackin' one of your cars and driving my ass back to London." Russel followed the bassist muttering "fuckin' put a sack over my head.."

Once everyone had gathered in the studio room Stu took the liberty of introducing Paula. "I've found us a guitarist. She's pretty good and I uh.. I dunno, I wreally like her, so yeah." Murdoc didn't really seem to pay much attention. He just muttered 'yeah yeah' and waved him off. They plugged everything in and told Russel to wing it, seeing as they weren't really good at writing the drum parts. Well, Murdoc thought he was but after reading up on some of Russel's works he felt a bit silly. The drummer nodded his head in an annoyed manner and waited for them to start.

"Magic for me. Magic make no sound. It good for me. It's good for me underground, underground." Stu bobbed his head to the beat that Russel was starting to work out. "Magic on me. Really got me down. Invade the city. It make my heart beat no sound." The song was really working wonders. Russel had really started to make some nice solid sounds and Murdoc was really feeling the music. Paula was doing her best but he couldn't help but feel she was the weakest link. But really, they were good enough. They sounded great. "Beat no sound. Beat no sound." Paula chimed through, "ooh ooh ooh." "Beat no sound. Beat no sound. Beat no sound." "Ooh ooh ooh."

After a few more run-throughs Russel was fully enjoying himself. Once they finished the last demo he stood up and held his hand out to Murdoc. "You got me, man. You all are makin' out some really great tunes. I'm in." And after a vigorous handshake the deal was made. It seemed like they had everything set.

Over the next few weeks there was much song writing. Music was being created and existing songs were tweaked and reworked to best show everyone's skill. Russel had called for all his stuff to be delivered to Kong. And, the first real piece of equipment was placed in the Studio. The legendary Hip Hop Machine had arrived and with it the band was able to extend their songs to much greater heights.

As practice continued and the band got to know each other more Murdoc noticed that now 2D wasn't sleeping with him. He just told himself that Stuart is a big boy and it's about time he stayed the night in his own room. However, after the first two nights Murdoc noticed the muffled moans of his band mates. Good, ol' Stu was gettin' some. So, why did it bother him? He couldn't really put his finger on it but he continued to grow more and more annoyed with the two of them. And seeing as Paula wasn't exactly the _best_ guitarist they could have he decided to make a little plan.

More and more everyday Murdoc would go out of his way to be really, _really_ annoying to the both of them. 2D just brushed it off, he had learned that Murdoc had moments of… Well, Murdoc could be odd at times. However, Paula, instead of being pushed away, seemed to be more drawn to him. He was almost going to resort to jabbing her every time she walked near him. But this plan was abandoned when Russel saw him getting ready for a good jab and gave him a death glare, saying something about leaving her alone because Stu needed some love in his life.

It had been nearly a month and a half and the bassist was getting nowhere. 2D was as happy as ever but just the thought that _Paula_ was giving him that happiness drove him mad. All his pestering had got him nowhere and he was getting more and more frustrated by the day. Each night he could hear them down there, rekindling his furry every time. Stuart belonged to _him. _He owed him his _soul._ Therefore _he_ was the only one that could bring him up or down. He was his. And she needed to go. Now.

But, in life, there are times when things line up in a deliciously horrible way. It just so happened that once, while 2D was out getting whatever it was he got when he was out and about, Paula crossed paths with Murdoc in one of the corridors. He shot her an icy glare and was about to go on his marry way when he found himself being shoved against the wall, lips crashing onto his. And then it hit him. This was her game. This was how he was going to get rid of her. This is how he'd get Stu back. Yes. So sickeningly wonderful.


	4. Chapter 4: Ripping Apart

AN: Hello everyone, thought it was time to interject here. This story is going to be a long one but I have everything planned out in great detail so I'd stick around. It goes without saying that I don't own these characters. Uh.. It's still rated T for now but as soon as we get to Jamaica it's going to get NC-17, just a heads up. I might throw my word in every chapter or so but for the most part you won't hear much from me. Anyway, read and review, yus. /babling

**Chapter 4: Ripping Apart**

Days passed and Murdoc tried to continue his plan, though there were a few tweaks. He still tried to get 2D to play videogames with him and was exceedingly annoying when the two were together. But, whenever Stu left the room Paula would jump Murdoc. This was the tweak, he would seemingly return the kisses. What she mistook for passion was really intense hatred. It really was time for her to go. So what if they lost a guitarist? Stuart belonged to him, he was his best mate. She wasn't allowed to step in on that.

Russel had noticed the looks that the girl would give Murdoc as he passed. It made him uneasy. He knew that 2D and the bassist were close but there was a nagging thought in the back of that vacant head. Minding his place as a newcomer he didn't say anything about it. He just hoped that Murdoc had enough sense to stay away from what wasn't his.

But as luck would have it Murdoc would get his way, but at a cost.

2D, Paula, and Murdoc had been sitting on the couch watching some boring show that the girl had put on. The singer sat in the middle staring blankly at the screen while Paula had her arm reaching over his shoulder, nudging the bassist every now and then. It only took four nudges and thirty minutes of this to bore him out of his mind. He had completely zoned and only snapped back as she once again caressed his shoulder.

Finally giving up he stood and muttered, "you guys watch the most boring crap." With that he left for the Winnebago. Seconds after his departure a commercial flashed onto the screen. Seeing an opportunity Paula gave Stu-Pot a quick kiss on the cheek and said she had to use the rest room. Just as Murdoc was about to step out into the carpark the girl caught him by the wrist. He was yanked backwards and then pressed into the wall. Forcing her lips onto his she hungrily explored the bassists mouth for a few seconds. Only breaking to say "we're doing this now. I want you."

The girl was so forceful. In the back of his mind Murdoc made the conclusion that she topped Stu at night. She was defiantly the one in control here. He _hated_ not being in control.

Leading the bassist into the bathroom she pushed him into the third stall. She was on him in seconds, mouths colliding and hands roaming. Clothes were removed and Paula started working on Murdoc's member. This isn't happening. She wasn't going to top him, Stu maybe, but Murdoc no. It was his turn to lead. He pushed her against the wall and gave her a lasting glare. But Paula wanted this now, so she grabbed Murdoc and lead him into her.

He'd be damned if he still let her lead, so he just started going. Hate sex was an understatement. With every thrust he was hoping it gave more pain than pleasure. But sweet Satan she was making so much _noise. _Where on earth had she learned to be that loud? Fine, let her be loud. The plan was to get caught, right? So then the more noise the better. Stu would come running in to see them together then break up with her on the spot. Perfect, so perfect.

But then there was a hitch in the plan. It was Russel that had stumbled upon them. He had been up late watching a movie marathon that included a large amount of soda. The man walked past 2D on the couch, who was still staring at the screen with minimal interest, then entered the corridor to the bathrooms and stopped. Moaning. Yes, that was Paula. But, wasn't 2D sitting on the couch? Then that means.. shit.

The drummer slammed open the bathroom door and then nearly ripped the door off the third stall. Sure enough, there was Murdoc, recoiling away from Paula. Both were flushed and scared, neither of them were expecting Russel. Once discovered the large male took a step back and shook his head in disgust. "You sick son of a bitch," was all Murdoc heard before a fist struck his nose.

Paula quickly gathered up her clothes and fled the scene. Russel was bellowing all sorts of insults while continuing to beat the Satanist. Hearing the ruckus Stu turned just in time to see his girlfriend running nude through Kong. He leapt to his feet and watched her run down the hall. "I can't believe you would do this! How could you ever do that! You stupid mother fucker!" Murdoc was on the floor now, bleeding profusely from his nose. He continued getting an assortment of other bruises and scratches. The beating only stopped when Russel felt a hand gently push him out of the entrance to the stall.

It only took a few seconds to realize what had happened. There was his best mate, bleeding on the floor, naked, and his girlfriend had just fled the scene, naked as well. All he could do was frown and try to keep tears from spilling over. Murdoc looked up at 2D, he looked horrible. The singers voice was barely audible, but it was heard none the less. "Why would you? How could you? You're my best mate, she was my girlfriend. Why wou- jus.. I can't believe you."

Murdoc tried to get to his feet, only succeeding to cough up a few droplets of blood and cling to the wall for support. He looked up at Stu and attempted to wipe his bloodied face. The wounds were still bleeding and it was starting to make a mess. Stepping back 2D allowed Murdoc to try and walk from the stall. Russel just looked at him and crossed his arms. "You damn well better not do _anything_ like that again, or you _wont _be walking when I'm done. Now get your ass to a hospital, you can drive yourself." With that he left the bathrooms and went to go cool off in his room.

Coughing up another few drops of blood Murdoc crumpled to the floor. There was no way he could drive, hell he could barely walk. He reached for his cloths and slowly got dressed. Stu buried his face in his hands and took deep breaths. Glancing over at the bassist it was clear to 2D that he had to be the one to drive him. Letting out a shaky sigh he pulled the man off the floor and onto his feet. Bringing Murdoc's arm around his shoulders 2D hooked a finger into the man's belt loop. Support found the two made their way to the carpark and got into the geep. Both noticed that Paula's car was gone. They were pretty sure they wouldn't see her around again.

The car ride was long and silent. Murdoc nodded off a few times, trying to sleep away the pain. Once they arrived 2D again helped his friend with walking. They sat in the ER for a while then the doctors took the bassist back. Thirty minutes or so later he returned. He had bandages over his nose and a splint on his left lower leg. Still nothing was said. Both got back in the car and drove home. As soon as they stopped each went to their respected rooms and neither left for a good long time.


	5. Chapter 5: Forgive But Don't Forget

**Chapter 5: Forgive But Don't Forget**

The sizzle of scrambled eggs cooking was the only sound heard throughout Kong. It had been two days since he had broken Murdoc's nose. He was still pretty angry about the whole thing but he was also worried about 2D. The drummer hadn't seen hide nor hair of the boy. One would wonder if he was eating. Giving a sigh he poured the eggs onto his plate and applied a liberal amount of ketchup. He sat down and ate, looking dully out at the landfill. Not much of a pretty sight, though the occasional zombie made it worth looking at.

2D shuffled into the kitchen and paused when he saw Russel. The singer had dark bags under his eyes and he looked paler than before. He opened the fridge and rummaged around a bit, coming out with an orange. Russel gave him a questioning look as Stu turned to leave. "That's all you goin' to eat 'D?"

In a monotone voice he responded, "Oranges prevent scurvy. Wouldn't want to get that…" Arching an eyebrow Russel took another bite of his food and made a mental note to bring him something for lunch.

* * *

Back in the Winnebago Murdoc sat on the edge of his bed, smoking fag after fag. This isn't what he had planned. No, not at all. Stuart was supposed to be his friend again, best mates, like it wasn't a big deal. Why had he been so _stupid_? He took a pull from the bottle at his bedside. The doctors had told him not to drink alcohol with his medication but fuck that. If he wanted to drink he was going to drink. '_Besides, I need it,'_ he would tell himself.

He flopped back onto the bed as his current fag snuffed out. Maybe he should talk to the kid. You know, try to explain things. But would he listen? He rubbed his palm against his forehead and groaned. It wasn't his style to go and apologize. Finally he resolved that if this continued for two more days he'd go talk. He had enough food in the Winnie, even if it was stale and molding in places. Murdoc Niccals does not give apologies lightly. If he was going to say sorry it would be a long time before he did.

Around noon Russel came into the carpark to deliver a sandwich to the singer. Murdoc heard the door open and peeked out his blinds, following him with his eyes as he disappeared behind 2D's door. Slumping back down on his bed the bassist fidgeted for a moment before crossing to lock the door. Feeling safer he returned to the window and waited for the large man to return.

* * *

Russel knocked on the door twice and waited for an answer. After a moment 2D appeared at the door. His room was dark, the only light coming from a tv playing some zombie movie. He still looked as if he hadn't slept. The drummer held out the plate, "Made this for you. Thought you might need some food." Taking the plate from him slowly he stared at it's contents blankly. Russel took a step back, "Well, you know where to find me. If you ever want company. Gotta be lonely down here." The blue haired man breathed a 'thank you' and slipped back into his room.

Giving one last look at the boy's door Russel headed back up to Kong. Once again Murdoc heard the door open and watched the man cross the lot. This time he stopped by the door and looked over at the Winnebago. He muttered something under his breath and then went inside. The Satanist once again sank into his bed. Digging into his pockets he brought out another fag and put it to his lips. He flicked open the lighter and watched the flame waver for a moment before lighting his fag.

* * *

The figures on the screen ran across a field at night being chased by rotting corpses. 2D was only half watching. He'd seen the movie plenty of times but he was thinking of Murdoc and Paula. It had been bothering him this whole time. What on earth had he been thinking? It just didn't make sense to him. He rolled over on his bed, looking at the clock. 22:27. Well, he might as well get an answer, otherwise he'd never let it settle fully. 2D was a man that believed in forgive and forget. But he had to know why things happened otherwise he couldn't put that rule into play.

Rubbing his temples and stepping over the plate Russel had brought, 2D opened his door and headed for the Winnie. He reached the trailer and took a deep breath. A soft knocking reached Murdoc's ears. The bassist waited a moment, thinking over who it would be. Getting up he decided that Russel wouldn't knock that softly. He opened the door and looked down at Stu. What a wreck. Then again, he supposed he looked no better. The blue haired man softly asked if he could have a chat. Stepping to the side Murdoc let 2D enter.

The man took a seat in a kitchen chair while Murdoc leaned against the counter. Stuart took in a shaky breath and looked up at his friend with tired eyes. He shook his head and looked at the floor. He even let out a sad chuckle. "Why.. I mean, why would you? You're me best mate, Muds. Why would you even fink about doin' that to me?" His eyes were back on the bassist staring right into him.

Fidgeting a bit, "Look, Stu, she wasn't a pretty bird. She was jus' with you for the sex, plain an simple. I did you a fovour really." He planted his palms firmly onto the counter, holding his ground.

Another bitter laugh, "Favour? Heheh, right then. Some favour. I really liked 'er. A lot. An you jus 'ad to ruin it didn't you. You neva want me to 'ave anyfin' for myself. You jus' 'ave to come an screw things up!" His hands were clutching the seat, on the verge of tears.

"Come on, don't get like that. She was takin' you away. Makin' you not focus on the band. Besides, she was only using you. I told yew, she's no good. It's better she's gone." This wasn't going well, he tried to think things through fast. "If yer goin' to 'ave someone they need to be true." Hell, like Stu was going to buy this tripe, but he had to say something. "It was jus goin' to hurt you in the end."

Stu sat back in the chair and shook his head cynically. "How do you even come up with that? She was good ta me, Muds. And you always mess up wot I got, so why is this time any different? I want a real answer not just crap you pulled outta yer arse."

Eyes were again on him, searching for the truth. Murdoc ran his hand down his face and paused for a moment, resting his hand on his chin. Looking 2D straight in the eyes he spoke, "Wot I said is true. She was takin' you away from me. She was just usin' you. I tried to drive 'er off but you two would 'ave none of it. This was the only thing I could think of. She needed to go. That's how it 'appened." He kept his gaze until the singer broke it. His eyes were steady, he wasn't lying.

Putting his elbows on his knees Stu covered his face with his hands. He was silent for a few long moments. Neither of them moved. Finally he let his hands drop and stood up to face Murdoc. "Don't you evea do anyfin' like that evea again. You 'urt me more than you 'urt her." He turned to leave then quietly added, "Next time you get jealous jus' talk to me about it." Then he slipped back out of the Winnie and left Murdoc to mull over what just happened.


	6. Chapter 6: Special Delivery

**Chapter 6: Special Delivery**

Things had been quiet around Kong. Stuart was still a bit upset with Murdoc so they didn't talk much. They did allow themselves to be in the same room though, a step up from before. Currently the two of them were sitting on the couch watching some show about African lions stalking gazelles. Russel walked into the room and took a seat in the large chair to the left of the room. After a moment of waiting he spoke up. "We need a new guitarist if we intend to actually make this band work."

Both men looked over to the speaker, equally bored looks on their faces. 2D lowered his gaze to the floor while Murdoc lost himself in thought. Seeing that neither would respond he tried again. "And I think, because Murdoc lost our first guitarist, he should be the one to search out a new one. Reasonable?"

The bassist scoffed, "Well it is _my_ band. Of _course_ I'll be the one to find the new member." And with that he turned back to the tv, making no sign of moving anytime soon. Russel sat there, staring at him. Nope, not moving. He frowned.

"Get your ass up and find us a guitarist!" He made a violent motion with his hands. Looking over at him Murdoc narrowed his eyes. He had finally gotten to the point where he was sitting on the same couch with his mate and now he was supposed to move? You've got to be kidding.

He leaned back into the couch, "I'll get to it." A pause, "Jus' not now." The large man heaved himself up and walked out of the room. Murdoc smiled to himself. But his triumph was short lived as Russel reentered the room. He shoved a cordless phone and a large phonebook into the Satanists face. Taking the items he started cursing under his breath. He flipped through the pages and got to the NME's phone number. The NME was a music magazine—and people put adds in the back of magazines, right? Might as well give them a ring.

Russel sat back down in his chair and watched as Murdoc dialed the number. There was a bit of silence while he waited for the other line to respond. Then, "Yeah, uh, you guys put adds in tha back of yer magazine if we pay ya, right?" Pause, "Right, right, put in a spot sayin' 'Global phenomenon seeking guitarist for World domination. Blah blah blah. GSOH required. No hippies, etcetera,' get the gist? Yeah, come to Kong Studios to get yer payment." Another pause, "No, I'm no goin' to you. Just do it. Money don't mean that much." And with that he clicked off the phone.

Not two seconds later there was a knock on the door. All heads turned in that direction. Murdoc stood, "They really want that thir'y pounds bad don't they…" The group made their way to the door and 2D opened it cautiously. There was no one there, just a giant Fed Ex crate with Japanese written on it. The bassist made to touch it, "Wot va Hell?"

Just before his hand connected with the wood the box shook vigorously and out sprang a small Japanese girl. She had a big grin and was holding a guitar proudly in her arms. "Konban wa minasan. Nihon kara kimashita. Watashi wa hachisai desu. Ongaku ga disuki desu yo! Watashi wa gitaa o hikimasu. Himanatoki ongaku o kikimasu. Isshoni ongaku o tsukurimasen ka?" The girl strummed out an amazing riff and then jumped high in the air, topping it off with a karate kick. Upon landing she bowed lowly, looked the band over, and said, "Noodle."

The three were frozen for a few seconds, staring at the child. Then Russel shook his head, "Well that's sure some talent there missy. Come on inside." He led her in by the shoulder past a grinning Murdoc and a shocked 2D. She looked over the room and then landed her gaze back on the group. "Right then, I'm Russel." The man made a large hand gesture to himself when he said his name. Then motioning to the others, "This is 2D and Muuuroc."

Noodle laughed a bit when he said Murdoc's name. The bassist folded his arms, "She's foreign, not stupid."

2D leaned down to her height and smiled, "Well, let's show you the house, yeah?" Murdoc took charge of the tour and lead them around. They pointed out all the necessary things, kitchen, bathroom, studio, tv area. Then they brought her to a well lit room on the first floor. 2D stepped in, "your room?"

Seeming to understand she gave a big smile and hugged him. He patted her on the head before they left her to her room. Russel called back, "If you need anything just ask!" She felt a little lost. This was all new to her, she couldn't even understand these people. Noodle started poking around the room. There was a nice view of the graveyard below, how calming. Finding a pencil discarded on the floor she picked it up and thought for a moment. Slowly she brought the lead against the wall and scratched out 'Nuudoru' on the wall in katakana.

She sat down in the center of her room. Gently strumming her guitar she hummed a melancholy tune. Giving a small smile she flopped onto her back, still plucking the strings. Noodle let a smile creep onto her face as she closed her eyes. A new life. A strange new life.

* * *

Russel slumped down in his chair. "We're going to need a translator. Thank God musical notes are the same in every language." He looked over to the other two to see if they had any ideas.

Nodding a bit 2D suggested, "We could have 'er learn online. Don't they 'ave places like that on the internet?"

"Yeah, but we don't 'ave a spare computer. I need my laptop to look for places to book a gig. We're goin' to start needing money to keep the place." Murdoc rubbed his temples, "where would you even get a translator?"

Leaning back in his chair, "I have a laptop that she can use. We'll work on a translator later in the game. Right now we just need to get a few basic wo-" He stopped as the young Noodle entered the room, holding her guitar. "Need something, love?"

She held the guitar up, "hikim-" Pausing a bit she looked down, then looked hopefully back at them as she mimed playing a guitar. And that was that. All the faces lit up and they were playing in no time. Songs were tweaked, parts extended, and everything reworked to fit the new talent. The practice lasted for a good five hours but no one seemed to mind.

Finally they all sat down, reaching a calm. Murdoc looked over everyone, smiling at their content faces. They had quickly found their musical style. Recording of their first track, Ghost Train, was going to start after the break. Then it came to him. "Gorillaz." One word and all eyes were on him. "Gorillaz," he repeated. Then everyone had a big grin.

'Gorillaz.' They had a band. It had a name. They found their voice. All that was left was to project it to the world. It was going to be great. It was going to be big. It was going to be Gorillaz.


	7. Chapter 7: Break Through

**Chapter 7: Break Through**

Stuart lay in his bed and thought about all that had happened in the past few days. They officially had a good, solid band. Murdoc had recorded them singing and snapped a few good photos. He sent them in yesterday. Apparently they were going to have a gig at the Camden Brownhouse on Friday.

The place hadn't produced any upcoming stars but it was a place where new bands got their start. To tell the truth he was kind of nervous. So many bands had had their dreams crushed there. But his gut told him that they were golden. He turned on his side.

It was lonely here, with no one beside you. Maybe he should go sleep with Murdoc. He strummed his fingers against the nightstand. There was an eerie creaking noise from the upper levels. Yes, going and staying with Murdoc was a grand idea indeed.

He climbed up the stairs and pushed open the door to the carpark. And there it was. A blue, transparent figure walking around the lot. Stu froze. What do you do in this type of situation? _Call Ghost Busters,_ his mind teased. The thing turned to face 2D. It started to walk towards him and without meaning to he let out a cry. Murdoc hear it from in the Winnie and he walked to the door.

Opening the door he rubbed his eyes then took a step out. When he blinked open his eyes Stu had fallen to the floor, pale as a sheet. The figure turned to look at Murdoc. It just cocked its head to the side and smiled before fading into air. Both men stayed there, glued to their current spots. Finally the bassist spoke, "Get in 'ere now." He looked around, trying to conceal his nerves.

2D stumbled to his feet and quickly followed Murdoc into the trailer. They both fell into bed, lying on top of the sheets. Putting his hand on his forehead Stuart sighed. "Oh boy…" Silence. Murdoc made the move to get under the safety of the covers and the singer quickly followed. Both were quiet for some time, thinking over everything.

After about ten minutes a soft voice reached Stu's ear. "I.. I am sorry, mate." He frowned and turned away. _Ew, sentiment_, he couldn't help but think.

A short chuckle. Then Stu turned and pulled close to the bassist. He nuzzled his face into Murdoc's neck. Silence, and, "Thank you.. For sayin' sorry." With that he pulled away and settled in next to his friend, sharing the warmth he emitted.

--

_Pain. Unbelievable pain. It hurt so much. Is that me screaming? I didn't realize I could make that kind of noise. The force had thrown me to the left where I rolled along the floor. Pieces of the building were falling where the car -was that a car?- had smashed through the front of the store. People were yelling. They were scared. I'm beginning to get light headed. Hurt soo bad._

_Then there was someone next to me. They rushed to my side and grasped my arms. He was leaning over me. He was talking. What was he saying? It looked like he, was he almost crying? It looks like he's laughing. What was funny? It's, getting blurry. He looks so afraid. Then why the laughing? "Just stay with me!" Heard that. I want to stay here. I'll stay with you. I'm.. you're going away. Don't go. Wait, things are.. I can't.. I'll stay I just.._

--

Jolting upward and breathing heavy Stuart awoke to find himself alone in the Winnebago. He exhaled a shaky breath and wiped the sweat off his forehead. "I'm staying with you," he murmured. Giving a small smile the singer stood and walked into the carpark. He noted in the back of his mind that the geep was gone.

Russel was in the kitchen making up a large breakfast for everyone. The drummer flipped a pancake in the skillet and turned to glance over at 2D. He gave a warm hearted smile. "Good morning. Tomorrow's a big day for us. Muds said we'd be practicing for most of the day so be sure to eat well." Noodle was sitting in one of the chairs already.

When Stu took his seat she smiled at him. "Ohaio gozaimasu." There was a bit of a pause as her mind worked, "Good morning." Her smile broadened as the man praised her on learning English words. Russel finished up the pancakes and placed them in a large stack on the table.

Bring over syrup and bacon, "I lent her my computer for a day or so and she took some notes down from this website she found. It's not much but it should help." He grabbed himself some food and started eating.

2D did the same. Through mid-chew he asked, "'Ey, weres Mubs?" Noodle giggled a little at his garbled speech. And as if to answer the question himself the bassist walked into the kitchen.

"'Ere you are, love. Just something to 'elp you along." He tossed a small book onto the table, a Japanese to English handbook.

Her eyes lit up as she realized this. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Murdoc-kun!" She hurriedly started eating, wanting to read the book as soon as possible. Murdoc took a seat next to Stu-Pot and grabbed a piece of bacon.

He leaned his head back, "We're starting practice at noon, okay?" The boys nodded and Noodle just kind of stared at him. Noticing this, "Right, uh, we'll get you. Don't worry." With that she went back to eating, figuring whatever it was they had a plan.

--

Practice was long and hard. Everything had to be perfect if they were going to get signed. It had to be the best, pulling out all the stops. Murdoc called a break when his fingers were hurting too much. They all sat down and relaxed for a bit. There was a content silence. Then, "Good job." Everyone looked. It was Noodle. She was learning fast. Giving words of approval she smiled and nodded her head.

Plans were starting to form. Murdoc said they premiered at eight the next night so they needed to be there around seven. They needed to set everything up and do a quick warm up when they arrived. Next was deciding what to play. Most of their songs were semi complete so they had a good variety to choose from. Russel suggested starting off with something to get the crowd going. 'Punk' it was. They would follow up with 'Ghost Train,' 'Re-Hash,' 'Starshine,' and finish it off with 'Slow Country.'

After giving themselves a few more minutes of rest they then returned to playing. They did a run through of the show and then called it a night. Each departed to their own room, excited and nervous about the day to come. Murdoc and 2D walked together out to the carpark. Stu-Pot said 'good night' and made to leave when the bassist stopped him.

"Why don't you stay with me tonight? 'Sgood luck to sleep with me before a show." He offered a joking smile at the play on words. The singer's face softened at the offer and walked with his friend into the trailer. They got themselves settled in bed and let their eyes droop with want of sleep. Just before drifting off Murdoc rolled onto his stomach and put his arm on 2D's chest. Softly, "Good luck tomorrow."

The singer would have responded but he was already asleep, a small smile dancing across his face.

* * *

AN: Gah, fluff. I dunno, I think that sort of thing just comes naturally between those two when the band first started off. I'm starting to write longer chapters, thank god. This short stuff was killing me xD Anyway, the plot starts to actually move from here on out. I was just trying to set the stage, show the balance between everyone before going out on my own limb.


	8. Chapter 8: Adding it All Up

**Chapter 8: Adding It All Up**

Morning came too soon. Rolling over he saw the Murdoc was still asleep next to him. He looked sweet, if that was even possible. When he looked like that, you almost forgot he was the one who punched his front teeth out. He watched his chest slowly rise and fall with each breath. Then, something weird. Why did he suddenly want to kiss Murdoc's forehead? That's.. a bit odd.

Feeling uneasy he crept out of bed and softly padded out of the Winnie. He needed a shower. It was relatively early, he vaguely recalled the clock saying sometime around eight. Tossing a clean towel and his clothes on the counter of the bathroom he turned on the shower. Hot. It needed to be very hot. Heat distracted him from pounding headaches and most all body sores. Perhaps he could drown his thoughts.

Stuart gingerly stepped into the spray of water. He had been ignoring this for a while now. Part of him had known it since he came out of a coma but had refused to take notice. He just tried to suppress the feelings, hiding them by going after women. Sure, he liked girls. He liked girls a lot. So, why was he feeling a fondness for Murdoc?

Not to be snide but if Stu was going to go for blokes he could certainly get one better looking than him. This had to be a fad. Just some flitting desire, here one month, gone the next. It had to be. Murdoc and him, together? I mean, just think about it…

_He was pressed against the wall of his bedroom, hands running along his chest. They were exploring each other's mouth, the best kiss he'd ever had. Then Murdoc pressed their hips together. Both were hard and the friction felt amazing. Hands started removing clothing and-_

Shit, no. He shook his head, beads of water flicking off his hair. No, no, no, he couldn't be thinking that. Oh boy, woody. Over _Murdoc_. Crap. Don't think about it. It's not there. It can't be there. He was only thinking about his best mate, nothing exciting about that.

_Bare chests rubbed against each other. Murdoc was biting his neck. Pain was never so intoxicating. He let out a groan. "Please.. I need…" The bassist licked along his neck and grabbed 2D's erection. _

"God damn it," his fist hit the side of the showed with a wet thud. Clearly he had ignored this for too long. Now everything was flooding out. Every sudden urge, every creeping thought, every secret dream. He had tried so hard to ignore them; to just sweep them under the bed and forget about it. But, it was starting to be too much. Oh, great.

* * *

Most of the day went by without words. The band was feeling an invisible electricity around them. Noodle and Murdoc had their instruments on them at all times. They randomly plucked out parts of songs. All of them had been sitting in the tv room, lost in their own worlds. Murdoc had his bass close to him, rubbing it softly with his fingers every now and then.

After an hour or so of silent thinking Noodle started playing part of Punk. She was quickly joined by Russel tapping on his thighs. Murdoc was next to jump in and then 2D's voice sprang to life. A breath had been taken. Just a small strumming evolved into this song they had worked so hard on making. They played. They closed their eyes and let the song wash over them. This was what they were all waiting for. This was what they had created. Each soul meshing so beautifully together, creating something new and wonderful. It was just a simple idea, sprouting in a single mind and now it had a life of it's own.

They continued this way, running through all the songs they were to play that night. Once they finished they opened their eyes. No one spoke. No one moved. There were only smiles. Yes. This would get them so far. How could it not? Everything fit. It was the start of Gorillaz and they all knew it. All nerves were lost. This was perfect. There was never any need to worry.

There was idle chat floating around the boys and every now and then Noodle would throw in a phrase or two. They gathered up everything they needed and hopped in the geep. A small diner provided them some food before the show. Before they realized it they were backstage, getting ready for their performance. There was adrenaline pulsing through their bodies. This was it, the show that could decide everything.

An announcer came on and gave a short introduction for the band. Russel and Noodle stepped proudly out on stage. But 2D seemed a tad reluctant, nerves starting to creep back. Murdoc placed his hand on the small of the singer's back and gave him a gentle push forward.

The crowd gave their applause as they did every time a new band came up to bat. It wasn't a very big house but there seemed to be quite a few people. They situated themselves on stage and 2D grabbed the mic, a grin spreading across his face. This was it. Russel counted them in and the band followed, clapping. 2D started off strong. The energy built as the lyrics started flowing. The tech works kicked in nicely, playing the electronic notes.

Somewhere in the back of the room a man spilled his beer on the person next to him. He looked up and smiled at the girl's breasts, now wet with beer. Then a fist came crashing down onto his face. Her boyfriend had punched him square in the jaw. Now, being very drunk the man swung back, but again, he was drunk. His fist connected with the man to his left. In pure instinct he punched whoever was closest, trying to retaliate. Another hit turned into another punch and soon the whole crowd was going wild. People were yelling, punching, kicking, trying to get away, trying to get pay back. It was pure chaos. Confused looks were passed from band member to band member. They kept playing, not knowing what to do. Gun shots roared through the air and the band stopped, covering their heads.

Then Mr. Whiffy Smiffy crawled onto the stage and thrust contracts toward the band. Murdoc quickly skimmed the page and then a pen was passed around the group. Everyone signed. The Gorillaz were now official. People in the crowd were still rough and they decided it was time to high tail it out of there. Russel carried Noodle on his shoulders out to the car, Stu and Murdoc following shortly behind them. But as soon as they walked into the night air 2D threw his arms around the bassist in an excited hug. "We did it, mate! We're a real band now. Great job everyone!"

Murdoc smiled and subtly returned the hug before brushing the singer off. Boys shouldn't hug for too long. People might get the wrong idea. The ride home was filled with loud singing and shouts of joy. Once they arrived back at Kong there was a small speech given by Russel, totally spur of the moment but very well received. The feeling was in his tone of voice so even Noodle had an understanding of what was said.

After a few more congratulations they split to their own rooms to celebrate their own way. 2D was still running on high and sprinted to the carpark with Murdoc following at his own pace. He was still a kid in many ways. Finding no other way to contain his joy he ran around the lot, jumping and shouting. He sprung up high and landed right in front of the bassist, giving him a quick hug before sprinting off again.

Alcohol was Murdoc's way of celebrating. He disappeared into the Winnie and then walked back out. "Oi! Want ta join me?" The bottle was held high and wiggled a bit, as if that would make it more appealing. Stu skid to a halt on his right foot. An opportunity to get drunk with Murdoc was something the boy almost never passed up. He never drank much himself, screwed up his pain killers, but there was always the chance that something would happen.

Somewhere, in the back of his head, he knew that had always been the reason he hung around when Murdoc was drunk. The bassist could get pretty hammered and one time he ended up running around the Winnebago stark naked. That time had been more funny than hot but it just proved that anything could happen. Grinning from ear to ear he skipped to the Winnie and grabbed a glass.

"Cheers!" They tapped their glasses together and downed the contents. Murdoc had turned on some music and started playing air-guitar along with the songs. It was just good fun. Both were very happy and just screwing around. Many shots later and Murdoc was starting to jump around the Winnie. Stu just laughed and watched him running around. The Satanist threw himself onto the bed next to his friend.

He looked up at him and smiled. "We made it, Stuart. This is the start of everythin'. 'S easy street from 'ere." There was a slight pause, "'Ey, come 'ere." With that he pulled 2D down to him by the collar of his shirt. Their faces were only a few inches apart. Stu started blushing and that made Murdoc smile. He gave a low chuckle. Then, the singer decided he should try his luck.

Turning a deeper red he closed the gap between them. His lips brushed against the bassists in a soft kiss. Murdoc let go of his shirt. Suddenly feeling scared 2D pulled away and stood up. He faced the door, not wanting to see Murdoc's reaction. Quietly, "Right, sorry, I'm going to 'ead for bed now. G' night." Just as he stepped out of the Winnebago he was once again pulled by his shirt. Murdoc gave a tug and turned the singer around.

They just stood there, Murdoc looking at Stu and Stu looking at the ground. He half expected to be hit. It wouldn't be the first time. If the bassist saw it fit to throw a punch he did. As he raised his hand 2D flinched and braced himself for impact. Then, a calloused hand grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact. Once again his lips met the others, but this time Murdoc had made the move. He broke it after a few seconds and said, "Yew always sleep in the 'bago. Get back in 'ere."

There wasn't a 'no' option. Stu was led by his wrist back into the trailer. Murdoc threw off his shirt. "Bed time is it? Alright then, if we're done celebratin' already," a playful grin appeared. He sat down on the bed and waited for 2D to join him. When he made no notion on moving—too scared of what he could be getting into—Murdoc got up and came to him. Pulling off Stu-Pot's shirt, "Yer too skittish. I'm not gonna do anythin' to ya." He sniggered lowly, "Not anythin' yew wouldn't like 'nyway."

Obediently the blue haired man followed, kicking off his pants and socks along the way. They fell into bed like they always did and scooted close. 2D had been a bit afraid of a negative reaction at first but he allowed himself to fall into a little temptation. He placed his hand on Murdoc's neck and pulled him into a kiss. Pushing his luck again he gently licked the bottom of the bassist's lip, asking for entrance. A bit to his surprise Murdoc allowed him. Their tongues collided in a slick joy. They explored each others mouths and indulged in their unique taste.

Kisses had never really been Murdoc's thing, but something about this was different. It was a kind of a bond. Not love though. Murdoc Niccals did not fall in love. It was something he simply did not do. Or perhaps it was just something he never allowed himself to admit. They broke the kiss after a while and slightly panted for air.

It was quiet for a bit after that. Neither wanting to say anything, lest it destroy this fragile new bond. Stuart pulled back in and gave a small kiss. Then he moved in close and rested his head in the nape of Murdoc's neck. After that they just drifted to sleep, calmed by the rhythm of each others breathing.

* * *

"Hello? Oh, this is Russel. A party at the plaza? What time was that again? Right, alright then, thank you very much." He hung up the phone and turned back to his laptop. It was sometime around one in the afternoon. Russel had been searching for an interpreter for Noodle. So far he had found someone close, his name was Allen. It was a bit pricy and they still hadn't gotten the money from the record deal yet. He strummed his fingers along the laptop. Giving up he decided to e-mail him saying that they would be interested in using him for interviews and the like. The man wouldn't be living here, he'd just come when called.

Murdoc walked into the kitchen with 2D following behind them. The bassist was just in his underwear while the singer had managed to throw on a pair of pants. He ran a hand through his messy blue hair and gave Russel an odd look. "Good mornin' Russ. Wot are you doin' out 'ere this early?"

Giving a small chuckle, "'D, it's almost one." The boy looked out the window and nodded slightly at the sun shining outside. He rubbed his face, clearly still tired, and walked into the kitchen. Russel leaned over the couch and shouted, "The record place rang, they said they're holding a party 'round eight tonight, for gettin' signed an all."

Returning to the tv room with a sandwich Murdoc flopped onto his place on the couch and flipped on the tellie. He ran through the channels and stopped on a news station. "'Ey, was there anything about 'at riot last night? Were we on the tellie?" The drummer shrugged and returned his attention to the laptop. He continued channel surfing and ended up watching mindless television for the rest of the day.

Time actually passes pretty fast when you're shouting random answers at the game shows on tv. All of them had eventually given in and started yelling answers of their own. Even Noodle joined, yelling random English, and sometimes Japanese, words at the screen. Then the alarm Russel had set on his computer went off and they all piled into the geep to go to the party.

When they walked in they were not expecting what they saw. There were a ton of people, none of which any of them knew, a giant cake, vodka pouring from everywhere, and then there were, believe it or not, tigers on roller-skates. Russel paused a moment and thought about taking Noodle home, it didn't seem the kind of place an eight year old should be. She didn't seem too phased. Still, the drummer made it a point to always have her in eye sight.

2D was making conversation with a few people here and there. Parties weren't exactly his thing. Especially when they were thrown for him. Clubs and bars are a different matter though. Murdoc had started drinking again and he was starting to come on to a lot of women. It slightly bothered Stu. He assumed that the bassist had no memory of the night before, seeing as he made no mention of it. It was just a bit weird. Somewhere inside him he was slightly jealous.

In the last few days Stuart had done a lot of thinking. He couldn't ignore it anymore yet he knew if he said anything straight out it would be the end of everything. You just can't walk up to your best mate and say 'hey, you're really hot, wanna shag?' No, no, no. He wasn't even sure what he wanted from Murdoc. The thought of sex with another man terrified him, but that was how he was brought up. Fancying blokes is something he shouldn't do. But he did. Well, maybe not all blokes, just Murdoc. Eventually he had just decided to let things fall as they did. He was slowly trying to accept it fully for himself. It was just a weird thing to admit.

But Murdoc had returned the kiss. Maybe that was just him being drunk. Then why did he sleep with him almost every night? Things weren't adding up and it hurt too much to think about it. Stu took a shot and hissed as the liquid ran down his throat. It was a rather boring party to him. He had no interest in talking to these people. It was annoying seeing Murdoc all over those girls. He wanted to go home, to go to bed, to stop thinking for the time being.

Noodle took a seat next to him at the bar and put a hand on his shoulder. "2D-kun. You okay?" The words were heavily accented but it made him smile to see her learning so fast. He ruffled the girl's hair and told her he was just tired. She opened her mouth to speak then stopped. Pulling the handbook out of her pocket she quickly flipped through the pages. Finding what she wanted, "want go home?" This made Stu look down and frown a tad.

"Yeah, I do…" He slumped onto the bar, resting his head on his arms. Noodle put her hand on his arm. She couldn't help him. Not knowing his language to a strong degree put her in a hard place. Walking home wasn't an option and her words could not help him. Touch was the only thing she could offer.

Not knowing what else to do Noodle scanned over the room. Russel was in an exciting conversation with a gentleman in a top hat. Well, at least it looked exciting. He was waving his hands above his head in a bizarre fashion only to bring them back down and haunch his body inward while speaking. One of the tigers was trying to scoot itself to the food table and failing miserably. Then there was Murdoc, and he was now nearly on top of one of the girls he had been chatting to. Seemed like it was a pretty good time for everyone but the blue haired man and herself.

Never let it be said that Noodle isn't cunning. It only took a few minutes to think of a way to get both of them home. She looked over to 2D, who was still resting his head, and said, "mate kudasai." Stu looked over at her just as she jumped off the stool. He watched her cross the room and walk up to Russel. She waited a moment before putting on a face that told the world she hadn't slept in three days. Then she gently tugged on the drummer's sleeve and said, "home. Sleep." She pouted her lower lip slightly and Russel melted at her act.

He bent down and patted her head, "alright baby girl. We can go home now." Giving him a sleepy smile she returned to Stuart. Russel searched the room and found Murdoc. He stood in front of him for a moment, waiting for him to let go of the girl. When it became clear he wasn't going to the drummer grabbed him by the collar and pulled him to his feet. "Oookay there, man. Our little girl's tired and I think 'D's bored out of his small mind. We're goin' home."

Murdoc gave a low laugh, "alright then. I'm stayin' here a bit longer. I'll get one of the gals to drive me back to Kong." With a fanged grin he plopped down next to the girl and resumed where he had left off. Shaking his head Russel gathered up 2D and Noodle and drove them home.

Some odd hours later Stu was woken by an odd noise. He wasn't quite sure what it was so he headed up to the carpark to investigate. Once he opened the door he realized what it was. The Winnebago was rocking on its squeaky wheels. That's lovely. Then again he couldn't bring himself to be hurt by finding that scene. Murdoc, as far as every human being was concerned, was straight. So Stuart could never expect to be better than a girl for the bassist. He'd just have to put up with it. It made him feel hollow though, being alone in his room listening to the 'Bago rock. Just what he needed.

* * *

AN: Alright, my first long chapter, feels good. The riot and the party really happened and they were booked, one show, one song (or so they say). Keep in mind this is sometime in late October, early November. This is when the real plot starts. I get to have fun now. This is the last day of spring break though and I'm finally caught up on my chapters so they should be coming in a bit slower now. As always, thanks for reading and comments and reviews are much loved.


	9. Chapter 9: Sunshine

**Warning:** This chapter is NC-17. Read at your own discretion.

**Chapter 9: Sunshine**

It was New Year's Eve and snow was falling steadily to the ground. The air outside was freezing. 2D had been sitting on the balcony for a few hours. He had pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head against the wall. His breath swirled around him, visible in the cold air. Since the party Murdoc had brought a few girls home every week or so. They had been given a large cheque from the record company and the bassist had found 'connections' to make living comfortable until they started recording their first album.

He shivered. There had been two more incidents since their own celebration. Murdoc made no sign that he remembered either of them. It was starting to hurt. He could kiss him then, but not when they were sober. He could look at him them, but not around the house. He could feel loved then, but never when it mattered. The singer pulled his hat down over his eyes and let out a long breath. Coming out here was an attempt at numbing his feelings. Too bad it never seemed to work that way.

The door opened, "Hey, face ache." Murdoc had taken to calling him names and generally giving him a hard time. Stu tried to convince himself it was just the persona he put up for the others. Whenever they were alone he was usually pretty nice. Still, 2D made no move to respond or to remove his hat so he could see.

Murdoc sat down next to him on the floor, leaning in close for warmth. "Wot are you doin' out here again? I told ya yer gonna freeze yer balls off like this." The boy just shrugged. "'S New Year's Eve you know. Want to go out to the club with me?"

Finally ready to respond the singer turned his head and lifted the hat just enough to see him. "Wot about the others?"

Gesturing inside, "they're doin' their own thing." 2D pulled the hat back over his eyes and moved so his head rested on Murdoc's shoulder. The bassist smiled, "so is that a 'yes'?" Nodding the boy let out another long breath of air. Murdoc watched it swirl around until it disappeared. He looked at the head on his shoulder. Stu was frowning slightly. Something had been bothering him and Murdoc thought he knew what it was. If he was wrong, then it might make things a bit awkward but it was worth a try.

The bassist turned so he was facing 2D and gently held his hand over the cap, keeping his eyes covered. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips against the singers. A blush spread across 2D's face and he reached up and pushed the hand and hat away. He gave Murdoc a questioning look. It was met with a soft smile. Shaking a bit 2D nuzzled into the bassist's neck. A warm hand made a single stroke through his hair. Feeling better for the time being the singer let himself nod off.

* * *

Music was pulsing through the air. It reverberated inside the singer's chest. Rhythmic, like a heart beat. He found it comforting in a strange way. Dancing was never his strong point but he still did it. His arms waved above his head and his body moved with the music. Murdoc was a few feet over, dancing with a girl. A small scowl crossed his face. But he just closed his eyes and let the beat move his soul.

The air was thick with the smell of pot and cigarette smoke. It made the room look slightly hazy, as if it was all just some dream. The song ended and a voice boomed over the crowd. "It's getting close to midnight everybody! Get with your partner and dance a little!" He laughed a bit before putting on another fast techno song. 2D just kept moving, as if the music was the only thing keeping him animated.

Then arms snaked around his waist. He turned around to see Murdoc. The bassist was gently holding his hips as he continued to sway. Giving a grin the older man started to dance with 2D. It was a bit odd but Stu just told himself that Murdoc was high. Hell, he'd probably gotten a slight buzz just from being in the clouded room.

The two kept dancing, moving in time with the raw beat. Halfway through the song the announcer cut in again. "Here you have it folks, the count down is just about to begin!" The music still played, just not as loudly, but 2D refused to stop moving. Then everyone started the countdown. Stuart closed his eyes, trying to burn the scene into memory. He was dancing with Murdoc, the music was moving his body, and all around him people were counting the last seconds of the year.

His eyes flashed open and, "three, two one! Happy New Year!" Then the music returned full force, pumping life into everyone. Murdoc looked around at the couples kissing and grabbed 2D. Without a second thought he pushed against the singer. Tongues again exploring, touching, tasting. It was a deep kiss and the two came in close. 2D ran his nails along Murdoc's back making him give a soft moan into his mouth. Then the kiss was broken and both stared at each other.

Lights were flitting through the crowd, people were moving on every side, music deafened almost all other sound. None of it mattered. Giving into need, 2D connected the two again in a hungry kiss. They broke and connected, broke and connected while trying to make their way to the exit. Finally outside they rounded the corner and Murdoc shoved the singer against the wall. His hands climbed into 2D's shirt as they continued to make out.

Then they stopped, panting in the cold night air. The bassist looked up at Stu, "home, now." With that they hurried along to the geep and started a speedy drive home. If there had been a cop on the road they would have been stopped, Murdoc was going at least twenty-five kilometers over the speed limit. They skid into the carpark and got out of the car.

Things were moving too slow. Murdoc ran to meet 2D on the other side of the car. They met in a crashing kiss. The singer's hands seemed to move of their own accord. In fact, all of him seemed to be moving somehow, but he wasn't telling it to. His mind reeled and before he knew it he was unzipping Murdoc's fly. He also realized that his mouth was no longer on the bassist's but instead on his neck, forming what would surely be a splendid hicky tomorrow morning.

It felt like he was drunk, his mind swimming, trying to find something to keep a grip with reality. Then Murdoc's hand found his member and _that_ brought him back down. With shaking hands he wrapped around his friend's length before bring them side by side. His long fingers grasped both of them as he started to work and pull.

Murdoc leaned against the geep and found himself groaning at the singer's touch. His mismatched eyes opened to see 2D, flushed, hair messed up, eyebrows knitted. Awkward sexy—but he wasn't complaining. Slamming his eyes shut he came hard into Stuart's hand. The new slickness brought 2D to his own climax, muttering a slur of curses under his breath.

Panting, the singer looked between them. His own hand covered in come, some of it not his own. Continuing to simply breathe he was shaken out of an almost trance when Murdoc took back his member and zipped up his pants. Later, when 2D would look back on the experience, he would be slightly sad that the ugly beautiful sight of both their cocks together, the come over his hands and the feelings that were welling in his chest, had to go away.

Both were quiet while 2D zipped his fly and wiped off his hand on the lower part of his jeans. There was still no sound after that, when it was just the two of them and the weight of what had just happened. Turning to 2D, "don't you even _think_ about telling _anyone_ about this." The man looked slightly offended by the statement. Murdoc looked across the carpark, "…didn't need to say that did I?"

Softly, "no." The bassist nodded, not quite sure what to do. He was wondering what came next. After what seemed like an eternity 2D shuffled his feet. "Well..." he worried his bottom lip. "I-I got to go take me pills now… 'Appy New Years 'n all." Watching his lanky figure walk away—stiffly, as if he felt too awkward to remember how to walk right—Murdoc shoved his hands deep into his pockets and retreated to the Winnie.

As he fell onto his dirty mattress he wanted to sink into it. What had just happened? Did he, did he just have sex? Was a hand job like that even considered sex? It was easier to call it that than 'a two dick hand job brought to you by your best mate.' So then that was it, was it? Then he had just had sex with 2D.

Murdoc Niccals just had sex with Stuart Tusspot. Man on man. Queer. _Gay_. He didn't have anything against gays, he just never thought he'd be in this situation. Part of him said it was the most right thing he's ever done in his entire life. Yet his pride was screaming in agony at the thought of what could happen if this got out.

He would never admit that was one of the most mind blowing experiences he's had. He would never admit he actually loved the taste of 2D's mouth. He would never admit that lying in bed with him was where he felt most at home. He would never admit he had been feeling this since Stu was in a coma. It was simply something he could never do.

* * *

"_Alright guys, this is it." I pressed the gas hard and the car lurched forward. We closed the distance between us and the store quickly and we smashed in with a grand amount of glass flying. I have to admit, it was a spectacular entrance. Then there was the most blood curdling scream I have ever heard. All of us pilled out of the car and then I saw him. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, shit. He was on the floor and his eye was missing. There was blood and his eye was missing. He was screaming his lungs out and his eye was missing. _

_Realizing this my 'mates' ran for the hills. I couldn't go. Oh shit. I ran over to him and grabbed onto his arms, as if that would keep him tethered to earth. "No, no, no, no! I can't- There's no way." I couldn't have killed him. No, not me. I've done some pretty fucked up things in my life but never would I have intended to take the life of a human. Shit, what do you do? It was all too much, I started laughing. It was dry and hysterical but it was helping me keep the tears from falling. Looking back down at the kid I patted his cheek. "Don't you dare die yet! You can't die. No, no, no! Just stay with me!" This isn't happening, this can't be happening. He's going to die here, right here, and I'm going to be the one that did it. _

_Great, just great. I can't stop laughing. I don't know what else to do. Shit his eyes are closing. "No, no, no you can't go! Stop, stop, stop stay here. Don't leave… no… stop…" I can't talk anymore. My voice.. I think it just got lost somewhere. He's slipping away. Nooo. Not like this. Not knowing what to do to help I pressed my forehead against his. "Don't leave, stop it. Keep listening to me. Don't die. Please." Still laughing. Oh, Satan what have I done? Then cold metal snapped around my right wrist. I turned around the cops were there. All I could do was laugh. There was his blood on my face, I could feel it. I didn't realize I was shaking until I felt the cuffs moving with my trembling wrists. _

_They pulled me to my feet but kept me there, allowing me to watch the nurses pick up the boy's limp body. He was dead, he had to have died. And I killed him. It was me. It was me. Then his good eye opened for a second and it stared right into me, right through me. One light green eye, so beautiful, burning into my soul—the one I had thought was long gone. _

--

Murdoc jolted awake. Wild eyes scanned the empty trailer. "Just a bad dream," he muttered, running a hand over his face. He put on some y-fronts and walked out of the Bago'. Pausing, he looked over to see 2D walking out of his room. "Hey, Russ should be making breakfast now, you want to eat with us?"

Murdoc's mind automatically said yes but his mouth refused to voice it. "No." A pause, "I need ta take a shower." 2D frowned a bit but nodded. The Satanist simply turned right around and walked back into the Winnebago.

The singer froze for a moment before he sunk to the floor and covered his face with his hands. Things were weird now. He didn't want this to ruin their friendship. Part of him desperately wanted to know what Murdoc was thinking. Many different scenes ran through his mind. Some of them were good, but most were bad. Curse his self-doubt. He tapped the floor nervously before giving up and walking into the main rooms of Kong.

The smells coming from the kitchen were strangely different this morning. Upon entering he saw two large pots boiling and Noodle looking over them carefully. He raised an eyebrow, "Noodle?"

She spun around and smiled from ear to ear. "I make Japanese breakfast for new year. It is good." Looking back at her pots she stirred one of them carefully. "It will be done soon." The guitarist motioned for 2D to take his place at the table. Out of curiosity, "Is Murdoc-kun eating?"

Sitting down, "I think he went to take a shower. Maybe later." She frowned a bit at the response but quickly returned to her task. 2D watched her cross the kitchen and grab tea bags and three cups. Leaning over the table he whispered, "Wot is she making?"

Russel smiled, "Miso soup and rice. It's a traditional Japanese breakfast. Should be good." The drummer looked back over at Noodle. He had to admit, he was a bit worried about eating food made by an eight year old. But she seemed to know what she was doing. Besides, he would eat it even if it was bad, he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

The girl took out six bowls and filled three of them with the soup. She walked over to the sink and carefully drained the rice. Then the rice was added in the remaining bowls. Walking back and forth she brought the cups and bowls to the table. After a brief pause she went into the drawer and brought spoons to the table as well.

Finally taking her seat she said, "Itadakimasu." Taking this as a sign to eat the others picked up their cutlery and began eating. It was actually quite good. All through breakfast 2D was silently waiting for Murdoc to come. He never did.

The bassist stayed in his Winnebago for the next three days, only coming out to get food or use the restrooms. 2D wanted to go say something to him but he was too afraid. He missed his bed mate, but if it came down to it he'd just like to have Murdoc back as a friend. No one could understand his love for the man. Murdoc had ruined his eyes, punched out his front teeth, and only treated him like another human when they were alone. But he would just forgive him time and time again. No apology was needed. Over the years life had taught 2D that if he were to lead a happy life he had to learn to let go. The lessen had taken a long time to learn, including a lengthy bout of depression. But learning it made things flow so much smoother.

When Murdoc finally emerged from the carpark on Thursday he simply walked into the tv room where everyone was playing videogames. He walked in front of the tv, causing shouts of anger, and said simply, "get packed, we're going to Jamaica."

Everyone froze. There was an odd silence, then 2D found his voice. "Jamaica? When? Why?"

He leaned into the singer's face, "Because, Dullard, I found a place to record there. We're leaving Kong in four hours. The place is much better equipped 'an 'ere an' besides, some sunshine wouldn't hurt this bunch." With that he walked back out to the carpark leaving the group staring at the 'game over' screen.

They really didn't have much of a choice. After being frozen in shock each member slowly stood and went to their rooms. 2D stepped into the carpark where Murdoc was tossing luggage out of the Winnebago. He called as he walked, "How long are we staying?"

Leaning his weight against the doorframe, "As long as it takes. Should be nice though, get away from the cold." 2D nodded reached for his door knob. "Oh, and don't forget ta pack your bedroom necessities." He turned around and opened his mouth to speak but Murdoc was already gone.

Once everyone was packed Murdoc held a 'meeting' in the carpark. He explained where they were staying and what was happening. In truth it was kind of exciting. 2D had never been out of the country and Jamaica did have some great beaches. Besides, the cold really was starting to get to him. Four hours and a car ride later the group was on the plane. It was an eight hour flight to Orlando where they would hop planes and fly about two hours down to Jamaica.

The time dragged by very slowly. Noodle took the window seat first thing. Throughout the flight she pressed her face against the glass, looking at the clouds and ocean. 2D sat next to her with Murdoc leaning on him. Russel was on the end, he had been forced to sit there and he chose the bassist as the one to get his space invaded. He didn't really fit well in the small airline seats.

They had watched all the movies that were worth watching and the three men couldn't sleep. There wasn't really anything to talk about. The guitarist was curled in a ball, the top of her head just poking out of her blanket. 2D traced small circles on her leg. Most of the plane was asleep by now. About every two rows a small light was on, bathing the cabin in a soft yellow glow. It was quite comforting actually. However it didn't bring sleep.

Russel shoved his baseball cap over his eyes and let out a long sigh. Having fulfilled his goal of coaxing Noodle into sweet dreams the singer's hands returned to his lap. He leaned his head against the back of his seat and closed his eyes. Seeing an opportunity Murdoc ran a clawed finger along the singer's exposed neck. 2D shivered in response and then looked over at the bassist. A toothy grin was his only answer. Feeling uneasy the blue haired man sunk into his seat.

"You pack right?" Stu returned his gaze and arched an eyebrow. Waving his hands, "You know, what I told ya not to forget." A blush crept into 2D's cheeks. He gave a small nod and focused on staring at his hands. Murdoc gave a low chuckle and leaned his back against the seat. No more was said until they landed.

The layover in Orlando was only thirty minutes and the flight to Jamaica was much faster. When they finally reached their destination they grabbed their bags and took a cab to their temporary home. It was a little odd. The place looked like a string of small huts connected by pathways of dirt. On the inside they were enclosed rooms with air conditioning and even a small kitchen. There were three small bedrooms and the main living area.

Figuring this out first Russel quickly called a room to himself. The other three looked at each other and Noodle smiled from ear to ear. There was no way either man could share a bed with the guitarist and she knew it. 2D and Murdoc would be sharing. A scowl settled on Murdoc's face and he brushed by the others to start unpacking. Everyone followed the bassist's lead and started unpacking their things as well. After shoving his clothing into the drawers 2D threw himself on the bed. "''M really tired, Muds."

The bassist looked over, "You shoulda slept on the plane." 2D contorted his face to express his dislike for the plane.

"I can never sleep on those things. I fink it's because we could crash while I'm asleep." Murdoc only laughed. He rolled onto his stomach and looked at the clock. "God, it's only three." Pressing his face into the sheets he groaned.

Flopping onto the bed, "You can't sleep or yer body clock will get all fucked. Keep awake, Brainache." There was another groan from the boy. "Get over it."

Moving so his head rested on his arms 2D gave a lazy look out the window. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Sea salt. The air here smelled like the ocean. With the warm sun added it was pure bliss. It did have a way of making one even more tired though. Just as it looked like 2D was about to nod off Murdoc spoke. "Sing."

The boy's eye brows furrowed but he didn't open his eyes. After thinking a bit he took in a breath of air. "I'm 2D," he was smiling as the words fell from his lips. "Mmm, won't you buy me, mmm, piano chord, dictionary." Murdoc gave a small chuckle at the lyrics. He had never heard this song, he figured the man was making it up on the spot. "I'm 2D, mmm, won't you buy me, mmm, piano chord, dictionary."

Stopping his song Stuart let out a small laugh. "It sounds a lot better with my keyboard." He really wanted to sleep now. It was so calming there. Ebony eyes finally opened, "Can't we jus take a small nap? Only an hour, yeah?"

Murdoc shifted so he was more comfortable on the bed. He too let his eyes slowly shut. "Alright, just an hour though. I'm settin' my watch." They smiled, both knowing he didn't have a watch on him.

But, as luck would have it, not even twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door. When there was no response the door opened. Russel stood in the doorway in a t-shirt, shorts, and sandals. The two men looked over at him with a mixture of hatred and fatigue. "Noodle says she wants to see the beach." Again, no response. He crossed his arms, "We don't have swim suits. We're going to go buy some. You all need some too, so get up."

Reluctantly the two got up and shuffled after the drummer to the main room. They had exchanged their money at the bank a few streets over from their 'home.' However, once they got to the swim wear store none of the boys knew what was coming. It turns out that girls can't just have any swim suit. In fact there is apparently a lot to take into consideration. The three men had grabbed something pretty fast but Noodle was walking up and down the rows, picking up one, then setting it down. After much deliberation she settled on a pink bikini with a blue sea shell embroidered on the left hip.

Once they had changed into their new attire they walked down to the beach. By the time they had reached the shore Noodle was glowing with excitement. She spoke with glee, "Tottomo rippa. Ookii umi desu ne!" 2D smiled and watched her take off into the water. The boys were slowly making their way to the water's edge, crinkling their toes in the sand.

The singer stayed at the shore line and let the waves wash over his feet and slowly sink him into the sand. Russel started walking through the surf to catch up to Noodle while Murdoc walked out into the water and sat. The girl kept going farther and farther out until she stumbled and started sputtering water. She kept flailing about and trying to put herself inshore but the waves were making it a bit hard. "Aa! Tasukete! Oyogimasen! Oyogimasen!"

Russel hurriedly went over to the girl and picked her up from her underarms. She continued yelling for a while then realized that she could stand where they were. The waves pushed her gently and she looked up and the drummer, her face fully blushed. "Sorry. Can't uhh.." She swirled the water around her and tried to think of the word.

"Swim," Russel offered. The guitarist gave a small nod and bowed as a thank you before walking into shallower water.

Murdoc let the water flow against his back and chest. It was warm water even though it was 'winter' here. He had been to the coast before, though he convinced himself you couldn't swim in the oceans around England. It'd freeze your fingers and toes off. 2D, starting to feel the blaring heat of the sun, walked into the water and sat beside Murdoc.

He let out a contented sigh before ducking underwater briefly. Coming back to the surface he shook his head, covering the bassist in a spray of saltwater. It wasn't meant to start a war, but it did. Murdoc shoved 2D into the next wave that rode by. Sputtering for air the singer came up and looked something like a frightened cat. When he heard Murdoc laughing he lunged forward and pushed him under the water.

Green hands emerged and flipped the positions. 2D was under now. He shifted to the left and rose for air. There was a second of silence then both men were splashing and lunging at each other. If someone was looking that didn't know the nature of the two they would think it was a serious fight. Both of them put in a fair amount of strength but each knew it was just play.

Finally 2D called truce. "Awright, awright," he rubbed his eyes. "'Is stuff is startin' to hurt." Both settled back into the water. Soon they were joined by Russel. They talked a bit about what was going on and Murdoc occasionally pointed out a pretty lady. Noodle continued to splash around for about an hour or so more then called it quits. The band emerged from the sea and made their way back to their cabana.

There was a short fight over who got to shower first but soon enough everyone was clean and content. It was only about six but they called in a pizza. They watched the small tv, screwing around the Jamaican channels. At eight everyone was thoroughly ready for bed. The group split and walked to their own rooms.

2D again collapsed into bed. He had claimed the right side. Murdoc climbed in with him. It was quiet for a while, the setting sun outside casting an orange tint on the room. "'S been a while since we've shared a bed, ey?"

"Yeah…" The singer really didn't want to have this conversation. He had been telling himself for the past few days that this was just a fling. Murdoc didn't want him, he just wanted to get off. It was a one time thing and he shouldn't even be thinking about his mate like that anyway.

But he did.

The bassist let out a content sigh and slowly let sleep take him over. 2D listened as Murdoc's breathing slowed into the calm rhythmic beat he knew so well. He gave a melancholy smile and soon jetlag overcame him as well.


	10. Chapter 10: ReHash

**Chapter 10: Re-Hash**

Murdoc let out a frustrated groan as Noodle hit the wrong chord. A voice came out of the intercom in the ceiling. "Okay everyone, I think that's going to be it for today. Be sure to get some rest." The band walked out of the recording studio and into the parking lot. They had only been working for about three hours that day. So far they had recorded half of their songs but now things kept tripping up. Either someone played the wrong note or the tone of 2D's voice could have been better. Just little things. Still, they wanted this to be perfect—it was their first album after all.

They drove the rental car back to their bungalow and collapsed onto the sofa. It had been three weeks since they had arrived. Not all of it had been spent at the studio or working on songs though. Most of the time they just went to the beach or explored the island. The three males had taken a liking for the nightlife in Jamaica. There were some nice clubs in town and there were plenty of parties on the beach, not to mention the whole experience was amplified when you added real, Jamaican weed.

Noodle had found a nice game store and bought a gameboy, along with many games. She spent her free time either on the beach or playing the games in her room. The guitarist had also taken to sitting on her roof at night. The bugs never seemed to bother her and she loved looking at the stars. It was very peaceful there and it gave her a chance to unwind.

The drummer shifted, trying to look at the clock. "Alright guy, it's six forty-seven. Whatter we eating tonight?" No one seemed like they were going to respond. "Well don't all of you talk at once," he said sarcastically.

"Go find something yourself, you're a big boy." Murdoc glanced over at Russel with a less than amused look. Mumbling under his breath the man got up and walked out the door.

Then Noodle looked up at 2D, "Food?" He looked over at her. His eyes slowly blinked twice. Frowning, "I will make my Ramen…" With that she got up and went into the kitchen to start boiling water.

The singer's gaze then shifted to Murdoc. Blank stare. The bassist arched an eyebrow, "Why aren't yeh talkin'?"

Another slow blink, "My throat 'urts." Lie. Murdoc just smiled and turned his attention to his growling stomach.

He patted his belly, "Alright mate, I'm goin' to that place down the street. You comin'?" The singer shook his head and watched Murdoc leave the room. He laid out on the couch and closed his eyes.

"Are you okay, 2D?" The corner of his mouth pulled into a frown, but Noodle couldn't see it. Walking back to the sofa, she made herself comfortable at the small table. Trying again, "You are sad?"

Finally giving in, "Nah, 'm fine Noods." Lie. She gave him a skeptical look. "Really, I am." _Lie_. When she reluctantly took the answer she turned around. 2D hid his face in the soft cushions. He knew he wasn't in the best of moods, but last night hadn't been the best of nights.

He and Murdoc had been out at one of the bars. The bassist had gotten pretty smashed and was flirting with some of the girls. 2D turned in early and went back to the cabana. Just as he had finally settled down and was about to fall asleep Murdoc had pushed in the door. There was a girl on his side and her hands were clinging to his shirt. He walked clumsily over to the younger man and bent down so he was within inches of his face. "Sorry, 'm usin' the bed. Bye bye." Then he proceeded to pick up 2D by his arm and guide him out the door.

The door shut behind him and he was left in the warm night air in just an undershirt and boxers. For a while he just stood there, not registering what was happening. Noodle had been sitting on her roof and was watching him from her perch. She laid flat, trying to remain hidden. Slowly moans started to come from the room behind him. His shoulders slumped and he looked up at the stars. The guitarist kept watching him. He spoke, his voice was so quiet Noodle had almost missed it. "Maybe in time... You'll want to be mine…" She kept the words in memory and hopped off the roof as soon as he had gone into the main room. Trying to write as fast as possible, she scribbled out the words.

He had said them in a voice she had never heard him use before. That combined with the look on his face when the words were spoken.. She knew they had some meaning. She didn't know what, but it had to be important. After writing them down she put the piece of paper in the drawer. The main room of the place had a computer. When it was morning she would go check what it meant.

"Tabun shoorai ni… Anata wa watashi no naritai desu…" But now this had made her confused. She knew that Murdoc treated 2D badly but she also knew that he was his best mate. So what was this about wanting to be his? It just made her feel lost. She didn't have anything to connect with. People in Japan don't say things like that, at least not in public. But they were friends... She couldn't understand and she knew she couldn't ask 2D about it.

The man exhaled shakily into the couch. Noodle looked over at him. He really did look sad. She moved to touch him, then pulled back. Giving a worried look, she again reached for him. Gently placing her arms around him, she laid her head on his back. He moved so his face wasn't hidden. "Murdoc-kun… He is..." She paused, searching for the word. "Free."

He furrowed his brow at the statement. "Whatter you talkin' about?"

She slightly nuzzled his back, "He is his own. He is mean, but he is a friend. And we are friends, 2D." The body below her relaxed at the last part. "Watashitachi wa tomodachi. We are friends." 2D reached over and gently ran his hand through her hair.

"Thank you, Noodle."

--

In the following days the band had recorded their first 'spiritual' track. They had started to run through Clint Eastwood for the first time and the ghost from the carpark had appeared. 2D would have stopped singing and ran if the spirit hadn't started rapping. Turns out that Del would be visiting them more often now that the band wasn't ready to bolt when they saw him. Oddly enough, Noodle seemed the most excited about seeing him. The record company ate up the new twist, encouraging them to work with the ghost to make more tracks.

As for the singer, he had tried to forget that night - he didn't know why the Murdoc thing had bothered him so much - it never bothered him _this_ much before. During one of their 'down times' 2D decided to ask about it. Walking into their room he softly closed the door behind him. "Why'd yew kick me out the other night? I mean, it's jus been botherin' me a bit, it is _our_ room."

Murdoc looked up from the tv guide. He almost laughed, "I was gettin' laid 's why. Wot, did yew want to watch?"

Shifting a bit, "No. No, not at all." Then the bassist did laugh. The suggestion had caused a small blush to rise in 2D's cheeks. He really was a prude when it came to certain things.

"Then why ya complanin'? It's been three weeks since my last shag and a man can only go so long." 2D was looking everywhere but at Murdoc. Something was off. Since their last encounter Murdoc had told himself to keep his self-control; spontaneously sleeping with 2D wasn't something he planned on making a habit. It just wasn't right. But it couldn't be helped if it happened every now and then, right?

Wind gently blew through the open window. Neither moved. _What is this? This is so stupid. Get over it you twat, it's no big deal. Don't you dare touch him. You need to get over this, you have to get over this. You're not listening to me. Don't do this._ 2D stepped forward. Slowly he made his way toward the bed and tried his best to ignore his screaming thoughts. He crawled over to Murdoc and stopped just short of touching noses.

It was quiet, he didn't move. Finally throwing away all his pride, the singer moved forward, bringing their lips together. He reached up and ran a shaking hand through black hair. The kiss would have been returned but Murdoc pushed 2D aside halfheartedly. "Stop it. 'S not right." His voice contradicted the words. He turned and looked at the floor.

2D sat up, "Yeah. Sorry. I didn't..." Both men kept their eyes away from each other. Silence filled the gap between them. _He doesn't fucking like you, you faggot. Stop screwing yourself over. Muds ruined your life; stop seeing him as a hero._ A heavy sadness could be seen in the singer's eyes. Bringing his hand up to brush his hair behind his ear, 2D gave a dry laugh. "Right then…" He stood and walked lifelessly out the door. Murdoc continued looking away, a frown tugging the corners of his lips.

--  
_  
Idiot. Fucking idiot. Why did you ever think this would work? Huh? Trying to see a happy ending, mate? Nice try, the boy never gets the man in the end. You're no different. This was stupid, so stupid. But you need him so bad. He's your everything. No one matters but him, and you know it. No, he never was the best for you; one look in the mirror and you know why. But he's better now. It's just how he is. He needs me. I need him. I love him. …Shit. I do, don't I? Fuck._

Crickets started chirping in the trees behind him. Dark night skies had dominated the world. Slowly the waves rose and fell along the shore. 2D had come here to find peace of mind. It sort of worked, if you ignored the other people still walking the sands. The water just barely washed over his toes. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Flicking the lighter, he fought with the sparking flint. A flame finally flickered and he lit the cig, taking a long drag and pulling his legs to his chest.

Noodle hung her top half out the window of the cabana, watching the small light of 2D's cigarette. She looked wistfully at her friend. "2D…Murdoc-kun wa anata ga shozokumasu. Demo, anata wa Murdockun ga shozokumasen…"

"What was that, Noodle-girl?" Russel looked over at her from his place at the table.

She shook her head, "It is nothing." Returning her gaze to the horizon, she watched a figure walk towards 2D. It was dark but she could see the person stop and stand next to the singer. Another small light ignited. Both stayed where they were. Noodle rested her chin on the windowsill. She couldn't hear them talking. That is, assuming they were talking. Slowly her eyes closed, "Shigoto no ato ni. Me ga sameru. Nani ka shinakucha. Shigoto no ato ni." Behind her the drummer smiled, recognizing the song.

The cigarette hung limply between Stu's lips. He kept his eyes on the crashing waves, not the man next to him. Both remained quiet, letting the sound of the waves and bugs smother the words they weren't saying. Murdoc flicked the ash from the end of his Lucky Lung fag. He took a long drag and blew smoke out as words finally surfaced. "Why're yew out here?"

2D smiled a bit, "'Cause I want to be." Again, no words. A wave climbed up the sand and the singer gently ran his hand over it as it receded. It seemed like no one had anything to say. They were choosing to momentarily forget where they were.

Excess ash fell from the singer's cigarette. He stubbed the remaining filter into the sand. Feeling a strong need to reassure himself 2D spoke. "Are we…" He trailed off. Murdoc looked down at him, waiting for the rest of the statement. "Are we okay?" Dark eyes looked up to meet mismatched ones.

Something like a frown appeared on the bassist's face for a second. "We're…" He too had stopped short. There was something in his expression that Stu couldn't quite read. "I'm.. I'm goin' ta bed. Comin'?" A hand was extended, the same one that had previously brushed him away. 2D paused a moment before taking the hand and letting himself be pulled to his feet. He brushed sand off his trousers and followed the bassist to their room.  
_  
One pill to help you sleep, one to keep you smiling, two to help your head, and one to take away the pain._ Downing his medicine, 2D flicked out the light and meandered to the bed. He laid farther from Murdoc then he normally did, still not knowing where they stood. The darkness started to ebb and he could make out faint shapes in the room. Soft light outlined the bassist's body.

Murdoc replayed the boy's question over and over in his head. _Are we okay? Well, are we okay? I don't know Stu-pot. I'm no prince an' I sure as Hell won't bring a happy endin'. I dunno wot I think. I really don't. _

--

_There's a knock at the Winnie's door. "Yeah, wot is it?" It opens and Stu pokes his head inside. He's wearing his hair up in a messy ponytail again. How many times have I told him he looks like a girl that way?_

__

"Muds, I uh, I can't sleep. I mean, I took my meds but I still can't." You don't have to make up excuses. I know you want to be here. He walks over and sits next to me on the bed.

"Wot do ya want, a bed time story?" I tease. It's all I can do. If you show any soft emotion they'll eat you alive. He blushes a bit. A lock of blue hair escapes his hair tie and falls in front of his face. I brush it behind his ear - a reflex. As I pull my hand away he grabs my wrist. That look in his eyes…what is that? Then he pulls me in and kisses me. What? What is this? Why is he, why is he holding me closer? More importantly, why am I letting him? I break away. This is wrong. Stu is, as much as I hate to admit it, my best mate. The only one who's treated me like a human. No, no, no. This isn't happening.

_But he's not wearing a shirt anymore. He looks so… Oh no, you're not thinking this. But look... He had withdrawn a bit and hands were to his chest. His face looked hurt. Now, now. Don't give me that look. Please I just, I don't know what I want, Stuart. I really don't know. That's all I can tell you. That's.. Oh fuck it, get over here. _

_I push him so he's under me and I kiss him. I'm kissing Stu - and it's turning me on. It's weird. It's foreign. It's right._

_Then thin fingers run along my chest. They go farther down, farther, farther, then he grabs-_

--

Murdoc's eyes flashed open. Sunlight trickled through the thin curtains and 2D was sleeping beside him. _It was a dream._ He looked down - _a rather arousing one._ The bassist got up, took care of his current 'problem' and walked into the main bungalow. Russel was already eating his breakfast and Noodle was on the couch watching cartoons. He sat down at the table and stole a few pieces of ham. The drummer looked over at him. "We're jus' about done addin' the electrical mixing to our songs. 'S lookin' like we can go back to Kong in a day or two."

He nodded, "I'll buy two plane tickets for Tuesday then." Russel gave him a questioning look. "2D and I are stayin' a bit longer. Wanted to stay warm."

Noodle turned and looked over the back of the couch. "I want to stay! I can stay, Murdoc-kun?"

The bassist shook his head, "Not this time, luv. Jus 2D an' I. We're workin' a few kinks out."

Russel gave a hearty laugh and folded his arms. "Good then. There'll be less fightin' from you two." Murdoc merely sneered and got up to get his breakfast.

--

The band spent the remaining days in the studio refining their distinct style. Finally, they had settled on the best fifteen tracks and put them together in a flowing manner. The tracks were sent off to start burning thousands of CDs. Murdoc had arranged for them to film some music videos once everyone was back at Kong. Everything was moving smoothly, and they finished in time to spend one more day together in Jamaica.

Most of it was spent on the beach. Noodle had found an easy way of swimming and had tried to surf on the small board Russel had bought her. They even attempted a game of chicken. The guitarist had climbed up on Russel's shoulders but Murdoc and 2D couldn't quite figure out how to work it out. Murdoc insisted that because Stu was taller he should be on the bottom. However the singer retorted that because he weighed less he should be on top. After a small battle the bassist climbed on top of 2D and got ready. One would think that Murdoc would win, seeing as his arms and legs are longer than Noodle's, but with the flimsy singer underneath they were easily toppled. There were three rounds, each one ending with Murdoc and 2D falling backwards into the surf.

They had decided on eating at a local food stand for dinner. Each member ate and watched the waves turn orange under the setting sun. Everyone had become darker and sunburned in some places. Noodle had acquired a sweet blush-like burn while 2D had burnt his back in a slightly painful way. The drummer would just poke fun and point out how he never burned. Once the sun had been devoured by the horizon they made their way back to their temporary homes. Russel and Noodle got packed and set their things out in the main hut for the cab ride in the morning.

Seeing as it was the last night, Noodle had decided to spend a long time out on her roof. After the recording of Sound Check, 2D had known she went up there. He joined her this evening, his long legs hanging off the side. Both listened to the bugs and waves, trying to make the moments last longer. The guitarist moved so she was curled against Stuart's side. She nuzzled him a bit, "Will you be okay with Murdoc-kun? He will not hurt you, right?"

He smiled. The two of them had become very good friends since they had arrived in Jamaica. During some of their down time Noodle had taken to playing with 2D's hair. Simple bonding time. "Yeah. It's jus' some time for the two of us. Jus' like before the band started." He closed his eyes and started drawing small designs on the girl's arm.

"Is.. Is Murdoc-kun nice to you alone? He never is with people around." She had yet to decipher what 2D had meant that night a few days ago. Neither had she fully understood the nature of their friendship. It just didn't make sense to her. But she just told herself that 2D's understanding personality made him compatible with almost everyone.

The finger tracing her skin paused a moment. "He doesn't want people at fink 'e's soft. 'E's a pretty nice bloke if ya get ta know 'im right. Jus'... shows fings differently 's all." She nodded against his side and he returned to making shapes along her tanned skin. No more was said. Slowly Noodle began to drift in and out of sleep. 2D allowed himself to slip into sleep as well.

A voice from below woke them from their light daze. "Git off the roof an' inta bed." They looked over the side and saw Murdoc scowling below. Both hopped down and stayed in their respected rooms until morning.

Eight am arrived too fast for the two band mates. The cab came and took them off to the airport, leaving 2D waving and Murdoc standing with his hands in his pockets. When the car turned out of sight the singer let his arms fall limp at his sides. Both stood there a bit longer. There was a slight laugh, "Well Stu, looks like it's jus' yew an' me now."

He looked down at the bassist. His gaze was returned. Mismatched eyes. Murdoc softened his expression, allowing his mate to feel more at ease. "Yeah," his voice was faint. It was the look Murdoc always gave him when it was just the two of them. It was just for him. He never looked at anyone else that way, not even the girls he brought home. _Here goes that feeling again._ "I.." he trailed off. _He's not looking away. You're going to risk it again aren't you? You are. Don't. You know you shouldn't._ He leaned toward the bassist then pulled back.

Murdoc smiled - all teeth. The singer gave him a pained look. "Wot's the matter, Stu? Somethin' yew want ta do?" His shoulders slumped. It was like he was playing games with him. One day he was on and another he was off. Neither moved. Then Murdoc gave an annoyed sigh and grabbed the collar of 2D's shirt. He brought him down and kissed him, slithering his tongue against the singer's. Stu didn't question, if today was 'on,' he would gladly play along. But the kiss was broken before he had wanted.

He looked at the bassist, confused. Murdoc just smiled again and walked back into the main bungalow, leaving 2D in the road looking very lost.

* * *

AN: Noodle translations: obviously the first one was 'Maybe in time you'll want to be mine' and she says that 'watashitachi wa tomodachi desu' means 'we are friends' then when she's looking out the window she says "2D.. You belong to Murdoc. But Murdoc doesn't belong to you." Oh and I purposely dropped the ending on 2D's name when Noodle speaks. When you are really close with someone you don't have to say -san or -kun etc. Also, I'm not focusing on them recording or making videos and such because that's just basic stuff. I'm trying to get...'behind the scenes'. Yeah.. . Right, okay, enough rambling. Comments loved as always, and thank you all for reading/faving/commenting. I love you all dearly for it.


	11. Chapter 11: Hot Hot Heat

**Chapter 11: Hot Hot Heat**

The two walked up the hill to Kong, seeing as the cab driver refused to drive them up. Russel punched in the code and the garage door rose. Smiling, Noodle ran forward and threw open the door. She ran down the hall and then the drummer heard a scream. He hustled to see what it was, but the girl ran back out and nearly slammed into him.

"Mite! Mite! Tottomo sugoi! Tottomo rippa!" She jumped up and down and then sped off back into Kong. Entering one of the main rooms, Russel stopped in his tracks as Noodle ran around the room with her arms stretched out. All of Kong had been updated and filled with all sorts of furniture and home goods.

Noodle rushed up to her room and threw open the door. "Waaaa! Atashi no atrashii heya ga daisukiii!" Her room had been decorated in a Japanese style with odds and ends placed around the floor and walls. She gingerly ran her fingers over some of the items and inspected everything. It couldn't have been better if she had done it herself. Turning around, she dove onto her new bed and rolled around on the sheets.

Russel looked over most of Kong before making for his own room. He pushed open the door and smiled - the walls were his favourite shade of purple. It was very well suited for him. Walking back into the entry hall, he noticed a small black demon sitting at a reception desk. It turned and looked at him nonchalantly. In a bored voice, "Welcome to Kong Studios. This new renovation was provided by--" Russel reached into his back pocket and pulled out his gun.

"Holy shit!" He fired two shots but the creature ducked under the desk. Standing his ground, he kept the gun aimed at the counter. "Get where I can see you!" No response. "Now!"

A small black hand appeared over the counter. "I don't think it would be a wise choice on my part to do that." The hand receded and there was silence. Noodle had heard the ruckus and rushed down to the entrance. She skid to a stop and stared at where the gun was pointed.

"Nanni ka?" Looking over at the drummer, she saw he was shaken.

Pushing her slightly behind him, he kept his eyes glued to the desk. "There's a demon under that desk." Again the hand rose and waved. The girl's face lit up. She made a move to go investigate but Russel kept her back. "It could be dangerous, love. Best stay back."

A somewhat muffled voice came from under the counter. "I'm not the _dangerous_ one in this situation. _You_ fired at me when I'm taking care of _your_ sodding house!" His head poked into view, eyes just looking over his hiding spot. Most of his body was black, save for a red inverted cross in the center of his forehead. Russel lowered the gun slightly, allowing the demon to rise a bit more. "We're the new house staff. We run the inner workings of Kong and make sure things run relatively smoothly - free of charge." He tried to lighten the mood, "Hell gets pretty boring after the first few thousand years or so; gotta find something to do." Neither smiled at the comment. "Right. Well, as I was saying, this renovation is provided by your record company as well as some extra help from the boss down below."

By this time the gun had been completely lowered. The demon laced his fingers together and his tail tapped gently against the leg of the chair. "So...what? This is all free? All this new stuff, jus' whatever?"

The demon grinned, revealing his fanged teeth. "Well most of the money from your upcoming album sales will go to this. The company has good faith in you." There was something unsettling about the last few words. Noodle looked curiously around the man and eyed the creature. She found the supernatural very interesting, and as long as they didn't pose a threat, she enjoyed watching them.

"Yeah...well, uh, right then." Russel pocketed the gun and walked away. The demon followed him with his eyes, the same odd grin on his face. When the drummer rounded the corner, he turned to find Noodle staring at him.

He gave her a weird look. "…Yes?" She just stared a bit longer, eyes running over the small details of the creature.

Finally she smiled, "Kakkoi." The demon looked a bit confused, but he said nothing. Having fulfilled her curiosity for the time being she walked off to her room.

The creature reached across the desk and rearranged some papers. "Weeeird."

--

There was a solid thud as the bassist came tumbling down to earth. A camera flashed, capturing the moment in time. 2D smiled and laughed, "Nice try, mate." It was their third day alone together and they had gone down to the beach for the afternoon. Murdoc had tried to climb up a palm tree. The goal was the coconut at the top but his foot slipped and he fell off.

He groaned, "Bloody tree…" The singer helped him to his feet. Pressing his hands firmly on his back Murdoc twisted right and left. Each turn resulted in several popping noises. He looked up at the afternoon sun, partially obscured by palm fronds. "Alright, alright, I think I've had enough of 'is outdoor time fer today." Making a motion for 2D to follow, he headed off to their bungalow. They opened the door and Murdoc threw himself on the couch. The singer gave a few warnings for him to move but gave up and flopped down on top of the bassist. He gave a mild voice of protest but soon quieted.

2D shifted a bit so he was more to the side of his band mate rather than on him. His arm was draped over Murdoc's back and his blue hair laid in feathers over his olive skin. The bassist blew a lock away, only to have it fall under his nose. _Butterscotch. Butterscotch, fags, and sea salt_. He exhaled, gently pushing the strands away and closed his eyes, feeling very content in his current position. Then 2D spoke, "So, why'd we stay behind? I mean, jus' you an' me?"

The bassist frowned a bit but kept his eyes closed. "Well, I…" There wasn't a right way to put what he needed to say in words. "I've been thinkin' - 'bout us. An' I, well... I dunno, Stu." He opened his eyes and looked at the boy beside him. "I jus' figure, that uh.." Words faded once again. It was quiet for a bit. Then in a small voice, "Neva mind."

--

Half closed eyes looked out at the fading sun. 2D had gone up on his roof to watch the sun set. It was their last day there after all, so he figured he might as well watch one last sunset. He let his feet swing off the side of the roof, smoke twisting around the air above him. Things had been weird. Murdoc had definitely become closer to him, but in public he still acted violently. The other day he had tried to rest his head on the bassist's shoulder at a food place and he was quickly shoved off and smashed hard against his own seat. But then there were days when they sat together and talked or shared silence. It was weird. This was weird. The whole thing was just very weird.

He took another drag. He wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to do about the situation. It was proving hard to gauge how Murdoc felt about things. Maybe he was scared - hell, even Stu was scared. Both knew that it would be very bad if it got out. Perhaps that thought alone was keeping him held back. _Or maybe it's 'cause we're both blokes_, his mind thought bitterly.

The fag started to burned out as it reached the filter and he flicked it to the left of him. From below Murdoc watched the small projectile fall and land in the sand. He was sitting in the bedroom with his feet propped up on the open windowsill. Lately his mind had been changing... The way he saw it was that there were three sides to this situation. One, no. Just plain no. He wasn't into blokes and he wouldn't want to risk getting caught if he did do anything more. Two, just fucking go with it. Sure he could get girls, but Stu, he was gorgeous in his own way and damn it if he didn't look so perfect that night. Then there was part of him that just wanted to blank it all from memory. Tell himself it was just a dream and continue living his life ignoring the man by any means necessary.

But it would be a lie to say that he didn't want to have 2D again. It defied everything he had been taught since he was a boy. Men don't like other men. It wasn't right. It shouldn't be done. It was taboo. And yet, he was acting on spontaneous urges, stealing forbidden kisses and replaying New Year's Eve over and over in his mind. Perhaps what bothered him most...was the fact that it made him look inside himself to see what he truly felt.

Murdoc Niccals had tried his entire life to hide from emotions. The only ones he let show through in public were pride, lust, wrath, and gluttony. Deadly sins to drown out his inner turmoil. He had long since made a mask to cover his face with in times of need. It fit perfectly into place in the morning and was only removed seconds from falling asleep. But whenever he and Stu were alone together, somehow the mask seemed to slide out of place.

Another cigarette butt fell from the roof above and Murdoc realized that it had gotten dark. He exhaled heavily and got up. Opening the door he looked up at the feet dangling above him. With an evil grin he pulled one of the legs. There was a yelp from above as 2D was pulled closer to the edge. The singer scrambled up and regained balance before looking over the thatched roof at his offender. His expression softened then twisted in slight anger. "Don't do 'at. I haven't the best balance up 'ere."

The bassist just shrugged. They stared at each other for a few moments before Stu flopped back into his previous position. "Wot is it ya want, Muds?"

"How'd yew get up there?"

Furrowing his brows, "I climbed."

"Think I could?"

"Are you tall enough?"

Pause. Olive fingers suddenly grasped desperately to the edge of the roof. He was trying to move upward by walking on the wall. His left arm made it on the roof and he was struggling to get the rest of him up. Stuart leaned forward and tried to pull him up. It seemed like it was working and then Murdoc's foot slipped, sending them both to the ground below. The Satanist landed flat on his back, winding him, while 2D had hit his lower half and rolled roughly onto his side. "Aww, you can't climb worth a crap, Murdoc, yew really can't." He coughed and looked over at his friend who was currently trying to breathe normally.

Stuart sat up and rubbed his side. A single firefly flew lazily between them. They watched it fly away and then looked at each other. Both stared at each other, trying to read the other's expression. Murdoc crawled forward and tentatively put his hand on the singer's cheek. Blushing slightly 2D kept his gaze. Then the bassist brought them together. Previous pain was forgotten as Stu deepened the kiss. Long fingers wound their way into Murdoc's hair.

What had started as a tentative kiss ended up entangling the two men in each other. 2D knew how to kiss, seeing as he'd had girlfriends in the past, where as Murdoc never was one to kiss his bedmates. He reveled in the way the singer would gently suck his tongue every so often. After a few more moments, they parted for air.

At this point 2D's cheeks were very red and he was looking at Murdoc in an almost childlike way. Licking excess saliva off his lips, the bassist debated rejoining him. There was always that nagging thought of 'what if it goes too far and we end up like last time?' Taking a deep breath he decided he'd know when to stop, and it was not time to stop.

Once again connected, both closed their eyes and relaxed their bodies. Then Stu grew bold and moved forward so he was almost sitting in the bassist's lap. At first there was no complaint but when he made 2D moan softly into the kiss he grew afraid again. He pulled away and gently pushed the singer back. He breathed 'That's enough.'

The blue haired man backed away, looking slightly hurt. "I'm uh... I'll... I guess I'll be goin' t' bed then." Slowly, he got up and walked into their room. Murdoc stayed on the ground a bit longer staring into the darkness. Eventually he got up and joined his mate in bed. No words were spoken. The flight back to Kong would be a long and quiet one.

* * *

AN: Noodle translations: 'Look! Look! Really Great! Really Amazing!' then, "I love my new room" and uh.. She tells the demon he's cool. yeah. -sigh- I wrote this whole chapter out, and, me being me, started reading more fics with them when I was writing and decided to scrap most of this chapter. So I then tweaked a bit of the plot and made things..better? But, again, I love all of you for reading and reviewing. It really means a lot to me, as lame as that sounds. Never have been one that had confidence in my writing abilities. See you guys next week, love love


	12. Chapter 12: Slick

**Warning: **This chapter is NC-17. Read at your own discretion

_Murdoc: But I tell you, that's enough South Amurica for me for a while, you know. Prison food is rubbish. I don't think I could eat another burrito in my life._

_2D: Yeah but you still like a bit of Mexican sausage ey, Muds? (sniggers)_

_Murdoc: Oh shut up you little fa- nnn.. _

**Chapter 12: Slick **

"_Starshine, never gunna find me. Yeah yeah, starshiine, never gunna find me.." There's a knock at the door. "Yeah?" Murdoc opens it and steps in. He has a funny look on his face, one he usually doesn't wear. "Wot do ya want?" He doesn't answer, just steps over all the crud on my floor. Muds doesn't usually do this.. In fact, he hardly ever comes in my room.. Crawling onto the bed he lays down on top of me. He crosses his arms on my chest and rests his head on them. I can't help but smile. Before I can stop myself I ran my hand through his hair. "Hey."_

_He smiles. Seeing no objection I place my hands on his back. I give a soft sigh, there seems to be no danger in this encounter. Murdoc gives a low, sort of growling noise and raises to kiss me. God how I love this. Everything is warm and perfect and it could be like this, Muds, it really could. He breaks and then lowers to my neck. My hands return to his hair and all I can do is smile. _

_I pull him up for another kiss. Tongues meet in a sort of dance that melts away everything else. Then he smiles against the kiss and pulls back. He looks me right in the eyes, still grinning. "We're going in now, 2D."_

_I frown, "Wot are you on about?" _

_He just continues to smile and stare. "Time to get up. 2D, we're leaving. 2D. 2D!"_

Stuart woke up confused and looked around the graveyard of Kong. "We're done shootin'. Come on in 'D." Russel motioned with his arm and started walking up the long path to their home. The singer shook his head and got off the chair he had been napping in. Rain still drizzled down on them as they turned to go in. Their now very wet clothing clung to their bodies.

Noodle's guitar dragged the ground slightly as the band made their way inside. The door to Kong shut firmly, canceling the noise of rain and the video crew leaving. Everyone was tired. They had spent most of the last few days working on making the _Clint Eastwood_ music video. The studio said they had all the shots they needed and the splicing would be ready sometime next week.

2D ran a hand through his dampened hair. All of them were thoroughly soaked from being in the rain for the last four hours. From the first footstep inside Murdoc had thrown off his shirt and tossed it onto the floor. The four of them went their separate ways. Noodle went up to her personal bathroom, given to her seeing as she was the only female, to take a shower. The drummer merely dried off and changed clothes, while 2D and Murdoc went to take a shower in the main bathroom.

Since the renovations made by their record company they had added a separate room for bathing. There were three stalls each short enough to look over at the others bathing and a large tube for whenever the boys struck a fancy to soak. They entered and each started heating their own water. When they found the right temperature they stepped in.

The singer tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and let the hot water wash over his pale skin. It started with looking over. Murdoc, on a few occasions, decided to wash his hair properly. So, innocently, he turned to ask 2D if he could use some of his shampoo. He froze. Stuart had that look on his face, the one he only brings out at special times. Murdoc had seen that look a few times before, one of them after their little hook up on New Years Eve nearly half a year back. The blue haired man smiled slightly as a trickle of water ran down his cheek.

And there it was again, that _feeling_. Since they had started working on their music video the two had been pretty focused on their individual practices. Now all thoughts of work had melted and ran off his body into the drain below. _Stuart, Stuart, Stuart. With that face you're just asking for it._ The younger male broke out of his trance to see Murdoc staring hungrily at him.

He knew what that face meant. It was the look Murdoc gave girls he was just about to shag. He smiled and lowered a shoulder, inadvertently showing off his unmarred neck. The bassist stepped out of the spray and reached over the wall. 2D allowed himself to be pulled closer. The two stood just short of touching noses, Murdoc's hand weaving into blue locks. Then the singer moved forward, pressing his body against the stall and connecting their mouths.

The bassist heartily returned the move. He had been missing this, though he'd never admit it. 2D's arms traced over the other's figure, touching everything his current position would allow. Lightly he dragged his nails up Murdoc's back. The response was something like a low growl and he tugged a bit at his hair.

Moving from the singer's mouth to his neck he started to lick and nibble at the sensitive skin. Giving a rather hard bite 2D let out a half gasp half moan. Murdoc gently sucked on the wound that was now starting to grow small beads of blood. The licking only lasted so long, soon the singer pressed hard against the wall separating them. "Murdoc, get ova here."

Giving a devilish grin he walked out of his stall and into the adjacent one. They joined under the flow of warm water. 2D gingerly pushed the bassist out of the water and bent down. He ran a long finger along the other's hips then looked up, as if asking for permission. When he received a small nod he turned his gaze back to the arousal in front of him.

Stu knew that the bassist wasn't at ease with the whole situation between them but he planned to banish all fears. He gave a test lick then took the length into his mouth. Murdoc groaned and grabbed a fist-full of hair. It felt a bit odd, having a dick in your mouth. He remembered things he had wanted the girls to do to him and put them to use. Apparently it was working. Continuing his work he gently massaged the bassist's balls. This made him buck, hitting the back of 2D's throat and making him recoil. He returned to Murdoc's mouth and every so often ground their hips together.

Murdoc still had the presence of mind to remember that having a dick shoved up your arse hurt. He pushed them back into the water and then it was his turn to kneel. He lavished the front with his long tongue while he tried to loosen the back. It was a bit of a challenge doing both tasks at once but 2D was far from objecting. A long moan was heard from above. "Please..I..I need." Murdoc looked up and grinned- all teeth.

He stood and walked out of the stall. For a second 2D was terrified that he was going to be ditched. But the bassist returned, having retrieved a condom from his pant packet. He opened it with his teeth and rolled it on. Once again smiling, "Best to be safe, love. Now, against the wall." 2D did as he was told and put his hands on the wall. He pushed his butt out to give Murdoc better access and looked back at him, blushing.

Murdoc licked his lips and positioned himself at the singer's entrance. Slowly he pushed in, water from the shower making things move smoothly. 2D gave a small cry and winced at the initial pain. Panting slightly he tried to make the sting ebb away. The bassist pressed himself against his back, kissing the nape of his neck. A slender hand touched his hip, saying he was ready.

The bassist would never tire of Stuart's tightness. His first thrusts were slow and shallow, still trying to be soft. Gradually he picked up the pace and repeatedly hit the blue haired man's sweet spot. This was better than any hand job Stuart could have given him. 2D's melodic voice was joined by Murdoc's gruff one as the two found the right tempo.

Slender fingers clawed at the wall as Stu tried to keep a hold on something real. In these moments there was nothing. None of the stress from filming or the cruelty of walking in public with Murdoc existed. Here there was only the two of them. All they felt was what they did to each other. All they knew was the other's body. All they heard was their own beautiful soundtrack. All they had was each other.

Murdoc's left hand was spread across 2D's chest and holding tightly to his right shoulder. His other hand snaked downward and started to pump in time with his own thrusts. The added attention made the singer's voice raise and nearly break the note he was hitting. As the pace increased both felt they were almost at their peak.

2D's noises became almost frantic before he practically sung out Murdoc's name. Having given his call he came hard, decorating the wall in front of him. The bassist came shortly after letting out a low groan. Murdoc pressed his body against the younger man's and both caught their breath. He held the condom in place as he pulled out then left to toss it in the trash. When he returned to the stall 2D had slumped onto the floor and leaned his back against the cool wall. His face had a look of pure contentment on it.

All Murdoc could do was give him a smile, which the boy returned, before stepping into the spray to wash off. Eventually the blue haired man joined him under the water. Neither spoke, they just washed up like all good boys should. They left the showers together and retreated to their own rooms. No one saw them leave together and they prayed that no one had heard them either.


	13. Chapter 13: Youth

**Chapter 13: Youth**

2D imitated an explosion and then broke into peals of laughter. It didn't matter how many times he lost the game, the explosion at the end was always funny. The screen went back to the dreary image of a helicopter on a landing pad waiting to launch. He gave a sigh of defeat and flopped back onto the floor. Lately things had been going swimmingly. The _Clint Eastwood_ video had proved to be a landmark video and stirred up quite a bit of motion.

Between the interviews and filming for _19-2000 _2D spent most of his time in his room, screwing around with all his new things. The Helidrop game had proved to be one of his favourties. His highest score so far was 2612 and he was determined that he could do better. Just as he sat back up to start another round there was a knock at the door. He frowned a bit but stood to open it anyway.

A very frustrated Noodle now stood in front of him. Her hair was cut poorly, long pieces of black haphazardly sprouting around her head. She had a scowl permanently placed on her face. "Murdoc-kun says my hair not good. We go to town now. You come." And with that she stomped up the stairs to the car park.

The singer couldn't help but smile at her as she left. It was times like these when they realized all over again that, in fact, she was just a little kid. He had remembered a time when he was younger that he had also given himself a hair cut. Granted it didn't turn out nearly as bad as Noodle's, but his mother was still furious. Sprinting up the stairwell he kicked open the door to find everyone waiting in the geep. Everyone in the vehicle looked equally displeased.

There was a slam as he closed the passenger door. Murdoc looked over at him and growled lowly when he saw the playful smile on the singer's face. He muttered something along the lines of 'you would think it's funny' then hit the gas and drove out into the warm afternoon sun. As the wind rushed past them 2D looked back at Russel and Noodle. The guitarist's scowl had altered slightly to look more pouty. As for the drummer, well, he just looked annoyed.

The geep skid to a stop and each band member hopped out. The bassist grabbed Noodle's hand and said, "We're going to tha hair place. Go do something. I'll ring you when we're done." He looked down at the girl and glowered. They walked off, leaving the other two to stare at each other.

After a moment or two Russel turned and left. 2D looked around him and, finding nothing of interest in his immediate location, walked off in the opposite direction as Russ.

. . .

Inside the hair salon the young guitarist sat in the waiting chair, her arms folded tightly across her chest. She refused to look at anyone or anything other than the floor. The Satanist tried to keep himself busy by flipping through one of the magazines they had in the shop. Once a few people had left it was their turn to go to the chair.

She hopped into the chair and did her best to look as angry as possible. The stylist looked down at her and smiled. "Right, well, this," Murdoc gently tugged on a chunk of her black hair. "We need to fix this."

The man gave a small laugh and ran his comb through her remaining hair a few times. "This is quite the style here, little miss." Noodle stiffened and frowned even more. She muttered something in Japanese and looked over at Murdoc.

"She says it's a new style, but I can't 'ave my guitarist lookin' like she fought a lawn mower." The girl opened her mouth to protest but was cut off. "Jus' try to make it look a bit better. It _is_ getting fixed." He looked down at her angrily.

The man looked her over and frowned slightly. This was going to be a challenge.

. . .

2D rarely went out on his own so he found himself feeling a bit lost. He walked along the shops and looked in the windows. It felt sort of eerie meandering on the sidewalk alone. Passing by a small pet shop he looked in at the pin of puppies in the front window.

Never let it be said that 2D was not an animal person. He smiled widely at the playful little puppies as they tumbled around each other. Finding nothing better to do he walked inside and looked around. There were kittens, puppies, birds, and a wide assortment of rodents. Wandering around the small store he stopped in front of a cage containing a little brown puppy.

He knelt down and poked his fingers through the wire. The little dog came up and licked the intruding fingers. "Want to hold 'im?" 2D looked up at the clerk and nodded, smiling ear to ear. She opened the latch and the ball of fur toppled out.

The singer scooped him up and held him in his lap. It's short tail wagged back and forth as it looked into ebony eyes. 2D gently scratched its long muzzle. He leaned back a bit and let the puppy romp around him. Watching it run back and forth made him feel warm inside. When he was growing up he'd always wanted a pet.

He stood and carried the dog around the shop. Walking around he grabbed a blue dog collar, a leash, food and water bowls, and some puppy chow. Smiling to himself he waltzed over to the counter and paid for all it. He bent down and clicked the collar around the puppy's neck. The singer thanked the store owner and walked out with his new dog.

. . .

The barber stepped back and looked at Noodle. Not much had been changed. Ebony tufts still fell haphazardly around her face but now they were more styled- less choppy. He scratched the back of his head, "Well I think that's about all I can do." Below Noodle had a small smile on her face. Bending down close to her ear he whispered, "It's quite a look, missy. It'll take a strong front to wear it. Don't let people get you down." She looked up and smiled a genuine smile, though she only understood bits and pieces of what was said.

Murdoc looked at her as the two walked back to the front. A scowl still hung on his face though he realized there was little that could be done. He paid for the cut and also picked up some hair extensions that he intended to sew into her hats. They left the store and waited in the car for the other two band members to come back.

After ringing them he turned to the young guitarist and shook his head. "Love, you really can't do this. I know yew like it but it's jus' too odd. No more stuff like 'is, yeah?" She lowered her head and nodded slightly.

Soon enough Russel arrived, carrying a bag from the local record store. He hopped in back and ruffled Noodle's remaining hair. The drummer sighed and gave a defeated smile. Kids will be kids. Murdoc began tapping the steering wheel impatiently. "Where the bloody hell is 2D?"

"'M right here." The singer opened the door and sat down, pulling the puppy into his lap.

The bassist's face went completely blank. "Wot is that?"

2D pouted a bit, "it's a puppy, wot's it look like?"

"We don't 'ave a dog."

"Now we do."

"No."

"'S my dog, not your's." He held the puppy close to his chest and pet its head. "I paid for 'im an' he's stayin' wiff me."

"Why'd you go an' get a sodding dog? We don't need a dog." Murdoc was annoyed at the prospect of having an animal to take care of. He didn't want to put effort into feeding it and taking it for walks and potty training it and the like.

"I've always wanted a pet. Me mum neva let me get one. An' now I 'ave one. 'E's mine and he's stayin'." The bassist drew his hand back as if to slap him but stopped short. Instead he ran it through his hair and stared angrily at the road.

"Fine. Fine! Have the bloody dog, give yourselves 'air cuts and do wot evea the hell you all want." He continued a rather long dark monologue under his breath as they sped off back to Kong.

--

The puppy bounded around 2D's room, sticking it's nose into every corner. When the animal ran past him 2D grabbed him and placed him on his lap. "Awright, you, here's tha rules: no pissin' or other in me room. You bark at the door if yew need out. An', uh, that's actually about it. If ya ever need anyfink jus' bark at the door, right?" The dog looked around the room and eventually back at him. It tried to wriggle free and lick the singer's face.

After an hour or so he brought the dog through the car park to the outside. He stood smoking while the puppy sniffed around. Murdoc came up behind him and snagged the fag from his fingers then took a long drag. They both watched the dog and smoked for a bit, just sharing each other's silence. The dog rummaged around the small trash piles. A tin from one of them fell and landed square onto his head. There was a sharp yelp and then the brown ball of fur hopped back to the two men.

Murdoc took one last drag and chuckled. "Yew know, Stu, 'at dog reminds me of you. Stupid as shit but ya can't help but want ta keep it." The singer blew out smoke and smiled. "Ew." 2D held the leash in his left hand and grabbed Murdoc's hand in the other. The older male frowned a bit at the contact but didn't recoil.

Wandering back the dog sat down in front of 2D and wagged it's tail. "All done then." He gave the bassist's hand a squeeze then let go and went inside. The other man stayed outside for a moment. There was a sudden retching feeling rising from his stomach. He exhaled and stepped back a bit. Then in the back of his head a voice not unlike his own spoke.

_You're falling._

_

* * *

AN: No one ever talks about 2D's dog ( dc130(dot)4shared(dot)com/img/42750361/b4d10b27/gorillaz-2d-and-dog(dot)jpg ) or about when Noodle cut off her hair (_

img97(dot)imageshack(dot)us/img97/3001/darkpop7sd(dot)jp

) so I thought I'd actually touch base on that. 


	14. Chapter 14: We Are the Monsters

_Russel: We all love each other! Except for Murdoc, who hates us all and himself equally. _

_Murdoc: ...Yeah, yeah exactly, that would be true. Ah, what's, what's your point? _

_2-D: Aw, I love you Murdoc!! _

**Chapter 14: We Are The Monsters**

From the front desk the small demon could hear the sound of something unfamiliar coming. He straitened up so he could see clearly over the desk and watched the corner. The cause of the noise shot around with Noodle screaming and laughing behind it. She had gotten 2D's dog, by now nearly full grown, and tied his leash to her tricycle. Her growing legs were over the handle bars along with her hands holding on for dear life. The two sped into the lobby then out in a matter of seconds, leaving the demon staring at where they disappeared. Sitting back down he shook his head and sighed.

The young guitarist continued her ride down a few hallways before the dog took too sharp of a turn. She toppled off the bike and rolled to the floor, nearly colliding with the wall. The action caused the trike to fall to it's side which tripped up Prince, causing him to come crashing down as well. There was a sharp yelp as the vehicle ran into the puppy's bum. She sat up and rubbed her head, still laughing slightly.

Russel poked his head around the corner and stared at the scene. "Noodle, girl, what're you doin'?" The guitarist turned to face him and smiled.

"2D's dog gives ride. Go very fast. Very fun." The large man walked over and picked her up off the floor. She smiled up at him but made no attempt to run off. He then went to the dog and untied the leash from the trike handle. The pup stayed there as well, both girl and dog knowing they were going to get a talking to. Russel righted the small bike and then looked down at the two.

"Noodle, if you're gunna' do this you gotta' go outside." A pause, "And only in the daylight." He paused again, thinking of the dangers in Kong's grounds. "And you better have one of us out there too. No more in the halls, alright? Now go take that mutt to the carpark. I don't like it wandering around here with no one watchin' it."

The girl nodded and picked up the Prince's leash. They started off but she stopped short and turned back to Russel. "Russel-san, when do we go to Japan?"

He stopped and looked up and the ceiling, trying to remember the date. "I think it'll be in about a week. Are you excited?"

"Yes, yes! I love Japan. It is very nice. You will love it too. I will show you many fun things." And with a large grin she ran off with the dog in the opposite direction. On the walk she talked to the Prince, speaking fast in Japanese. She had made it her mission to be its best friend, when 2D wasn't playing with him that is. So far she had taught him a few tricks, though, since the commands were in her native language others had trouble giving him orders.

When she reached the door to the carpark they stopped. The girl waited a moment, trying to hear if anything was happening in the garage. Hearing nothing she swung open the door. 2D was in front of Murdoc's Winnebago and when she entered they separated quite quickly and looked at her. It looked as if they had been speaking very closely, whispering to each other perhaps? It was strange..

Murdoc retreated into the 'bago, leaving a blushing 2D out in the open. "2D are you okay? Did Murdoc-kun do something?"

The singer offered a smile and backed up a bit, feeling uneasy. "Heheh, no. 'S nofink. We was just talkin'. Wot are you doin' out here?"

She didn't fall for the smile. "Russel- san said to put your dog in the carpark. What were you talking about?"

2D shrugged and held his left arm with his right behind his back; the pose he often took when confronted with something he's uncomfortable with. "Just, I dunno. Japan an' concerts an' stuff, yeah?" He looked down at his dog. "How'd yew get Prince from my room?"

"He was in the carpark. 2D, you were very.." She stopped herself, finding it disrespectful to pry into what he was trying to hide. "I am sorry." There was a strange sense of curiosity and suspicion around her. Stepping forward she handed him the leash and looked hard into his eyes. He shrunk back slightly at the probing look but took the leash none the less.

The girl left without another word or backward glance. Stu looked toward the Winne and thought about knocking. A frown tugged at the corner of his mouth as he decided against it. Dropping the leash he patted his leg for Prince to follow him back to his room.

. . .

Murdoc took a drag from his cig and pressed himself into the corner of the kitchen. He ran a shaky hand through his hair as his vision blurred slightly. _What the bloody hell are you doing, Murdoc? She almost saw you. Your sodding guitarist almost saw you kissing your sodding singer. This can't keep happening. This won't keep happening. _

_But I want this. I like this. This could work, I can make it work._

_You'll fuck it up just like you do everything else. It's going to get out. Every one will know that you're a bugger. And for your own singer too. Such a shame. Women won't want you anymore, not when that dick's been inside a man. You'll be tainted to the outside world. It won't work. This can't keep happening._

The bassist slammed a fist into the cupboard. Jagged nails ran down the faux wood panels as he mentally screamed at himself. Somehow he knew he was digging his own grave. He'd been digging for a while now. Though his mind, body, and heart were at war with themselves. And it had been a long time since Murdoc Niccals had been at odds with himself.

--

Russel placed the large plate down on the table. "Alright guys, this is our last night in England for a while so I made something I don't think we'll be eating for a while." The plate had three cheeseburgers and then a veggie burger over to the side. "Japan has a lot of fish and things I'm not so sure about eating.. So I whipped up a few solid American foods," he smiled at them.

Each of them grabbed their food as Russel set another plate with vegetables on it down. Then he sat next to Noodle and grabbed his own food. "You all 're packed, right?" he asked between bites. The girl nodded her head and smiled. 2D sort of nodded absently mindedly, staring off at something outside.

"Yeah, uh, wot time are we leavin' again?"

"Our flight leaves at seven tomorrow morning. So I'm wakin' yall up at five."

Murdoc groaned loudly but knew it couldn't be avoided. Under the table 2D's foot gently nudged the bassist's. They locked eyes for a split second before the older man huffed and kicked his foot away. He wolfed down the rest of his food and left without a backward glance.

The blue haired man watched him leave and almost went after him. Instead he lowered his gaze to the plate below him. Noodle stared at him from the side, mind troubled. She had a way of noticing things many over looked. Lately 2D had been shifting in emotions often. There were times when he seemed perfectly fine, happy even. But, she had noticed that he also had started to look sad and aloof.

Part of her wondered if it had anything to do with the bassist. But when he was sad it didn't appear to be because Murdoc had hit him. Just under a whisper, "Maybe in time you'll want to be mine.."

"What was that chu said?" Russel looked over at the girl. She paused for a moment then looked up with a cheerful smile. He gave her a questioning look to which she spouted out a long string of words that had no meaning to him. "Okay.."

2D stood and yawned. Grabbing his plate he shoved it in the dishwasher then meandered back to his room. "It's late Noodle. Be sure to get ta bed, awright?" He slipped into the carpark and made his way down to his room. As he reached for the handle he heard Prince whining from inside. Raising an eyebrow he pushed in. Murdoc was thrown over his bed holding the dog above him.

"Umm.. Don't do 'at. 'E doesn't like it." The bassist looked over at him and set the animal onto the bed. For a moment they stayed where they were, looking at each other from across the room. "You're in my room," just a simple statement.

Flopping back onto the bed the older man kicked off his shoes. "Yeah. I am."

Again 2D just stood there looking at the intruder. "I don't fink this is very fair, Murdoc. When eva I go inta the Winnie wiff out knockin' yew get all mad and throw a big fuss."

The body on the bed sniggered. "Yeah, life's great, ain't it?" Relaxing his shoulders a bit 2D walked across the room, kicking off his shoes along the way.

"Could you, um.." He waved his hands, motioning for him to move. A large t-shirt poked out from under the bassist. Grabbing it he tossed off his clothes and slipped into the shirt. He looked like he was swimming in it. The end fell just below everything that needed to be covered.

Crawling into his bed he rubbed his face in his pillow and let out a groaning sigh. Time slowly drifted by as both laid there. Feeling sleep tug at the ends of his mind Murdoc started to get up. Before he got off the bed 2D's hand reached out for him. He looked down at him, "'Ello?"

The singer moved his head so he was facing sideways, though not looking at his friend. "Can I.. I mean.. never mind. Ferget I said anyfing."

Murdoc let out a loud sigh. "Wot is it, Brain Ache?" The slender hand retreated to his chest.

He closed his eyes, "G'night." A slight pain nagged his heart. Then a hand ran through his hair and he felt the heat of Murdoc's body coming closer.

_Stop._ He froze inches away from 2D's face, hand still weaved in his hair. _Go back. No._ The bassist leaned forward lips barely touching each other. Then 2D gently moved forward and kissed him. _He did it. Can't be helped. _

_Idiot._ The two parted and both were slightly blushing. "Thank you," came a meek voice, muffled as his face was once again pressed into the pillow. He looked down at him with uncertainty in his eyes. After a few beats he turned and left.

* * *

AN: Noodle currently 11, seeing as her birth year is 1990 and the year here is 2001. 2D is 23(!), Muds is 35, and Russel is 26. Umm, thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews. You guys really don't know how much it means to me that you all are enjoying this. I truly love you guys.


	15. Chapter 15: Mute Math

_**Murdoc**__: Let's face it, it takes a woman to bring fighting back to what it's all about; two sexy ladies actually beating the living crap out of each other, and that sisters is equality. The only thing that this has in common with Big Shirley Daddy is the big arse revealing leotard but the balls are taped up better. Apparently one of these girls said that "When you go in the ring, you feel like a pop star." Funny thing is, when I hit the stage I always feel like a female wrestler._

_**2D**__: That is funny 'coz I've always loved wrestling girls._

**Chapter 15: Mute Math**

2D sat in the dim light of the sleeping plane, picking absentmindedly at the fabric of his jeans. On a normal night he would have just taken a sleeping pill but they had a habit of doing strange things to him when he was flying. One time he had taken one and didn't wake up for a whole day, Russel had to carry him off and into the cab home. Looking to his left he saw Noodle leaning on the drummer, both sound asleep. He bit his lip slightly and then turned to Murdoc. The bassist was drifting in and out of sleep, his eyes opening every now and then to look lazily around the plane before sinking back to sleep.

Letting his own eyes slide shut he scooted closer to Murdoc and rested his head on his shoulder. A red eye peered at him through a heavy eyelid. Slender fingers crawled over the armrest and curled around the bassist. He screwed his eyes shut and tried to go to sleep, but the warmth of Stu's body was distracting him too much. "''M not yer pillow."

The singer frowned. "I know."

"Then get off."

"But yer somefink like my boyfriend.. Right? Let me stay.." Colour drained from the older man's face. He didn't want to believe 2D has just said that. No, there was no way he just did, because two men don't date. _No, faggots do that. And Murdoc Niccals is not a faggot, are you? _He swallowed hard and tried to look very interested in the carpet.

After a few minutes of silence the bassist assumed 2D was asleep. He looked over at him as his hand gave the other's a squeeze. The boy furrowed his brows in his sleep. Giving a soft sigh through his nose he quickly scanned the cabin before resting his head against the singer's. "I love you. I hate you," nothing more than a whisper.

--

"Starshine. When you gonna find me? Starshiiine, never gonna find me.." 2Ds melancholy voice washed over the crowd, pouring from loud speakers. Noodle strummed her guitar lovingly and watched the moving mass of people she had once called her own. "Dreaming of a love, love, love, love.." Japan had been a bit different than expected for her. She had thought it was going to be like coming home, but instead she found herself a stranger in her own land.

"Starshine, when you gunna find me?" The song ended and the crowd cheered. They gathered around Russel and decided they should do a finale. But before 2D could get to the mic Noodle ran up and grabbed it from its tall stand.

"Konban wa minasan! Ogenki desu ka?" The crowd responded happily and she smiled ear to ear. "Nihon de totemo yoi desu. Doumo, doumo, doumo arigatou gozaimasu." She was giggling and the rest of the band took a step back and let her talk to people who could understand. Murdoc crossed the stage and leaned against 2D's back, his eyes looking over the moving blob that was their audience.

Noodle spoke a bit more and then made a motion with her hand to the large screen behind her. Though the other members of Gorillaz didn't know she had spoken to the director and arranged a few pictures to be displayed the nights they were in Japan. "Sou," she took off her radio hat to reveal her black hair, fully grown back from when she had cut it. "Watashi wa samurai no hayari na kami o kirimashita." The screen flicked to one of their group pictures in which she was wearing her haphazard hair style that Murdoc had been so displeased with. "Demo, Murdoc-kun wa," she made her voice deep and gruff, "minikui to warui to baka o iishita."

The crowd booed and she looked back at the bassist. He was looking around wondering what she had said to make the crowd react like that. Noodle laughed heartily and continued, "ga watashitachi wa daisuki desu." And the people laughed and awed as the picture flipped to one of all of them hugging.

Through her smile, "Gomenasai, gomenasai. Watashitachi wa uta o hitotsu hikimasu." She played a guitar riff and then turned around to the rest of the group. Taking her place behind 2D she shouted to him 'punk'!

2D took the mic, "I uh, I'm not sure wot she jus' said but we're gunna play Punk and then we're out ta the bars fer tonight." Claps rose from the house and Russel counted them in. "Try to see myself what goes on. Make it up myself I'll never. Always told my thoughts aloud. Then another day I'll shut up."

The song came to a close and the screens faded into an image of all four of them sitting around the studio in Kong. Everyone had smiles as they gave a bow and left. The rush of cool air from back stage was a welcome relief from the hot stage lights. Russel was talking to the director (read: talking to an interpreter who was talking to the director) and got all the information for where the after party was.

Russel and Noodle decided on going, Russel to 'take in some culture' and Noodle to finally have a real conversation with someone. As for 2D and Murdoc they decided to go to one of the semi-raves along the street. It was the bassist's idea but 2D thought the idea of glow sticks and pulsing music might take his mind off things.

Everyone went their separate ways and after a while our two boys found themselves in a very different scene from what they were expecting. Culture shock almost. Japanese raves were not like their English counterparts. Everything was flashier, louder, more confetti. Murdoc grinned and disappeared into the mass of dancing people. However, 2D found himself almost out of place. He stood a good half a foot over everyone, being 6' 2" (188 cm), though if people stared it was because they were famous now.

_Famous_. The singer found it very strange to think of himself as famous. He had never stood out as a kid, always dull, nothing too special. Absentmindedly he pulled out a fag and lit it. Heavy music pounded out of the speakers in a language he couldn't understand. A spotlight ran across the bar, splashing him in blue light for a moment. Part of him wanted to go dance, but all the noise was finally getting to him.

He sucked on the fag and closed his eyes. The song that was playing reached a crescendo and sparkling confetti shot out of pipes in the ceiling. They rained down on him and he opened his eyes. Murdoc was just emerging from the floor, a beer in hand, and stopped as he saw 2D. There was glitter on his cheeks and in his hair.

For a moment the bassist's steady heart missed a beat. The singer had shimmers of light on him as the lights caught on the shiny bits of plastic. His mismatched eyes caught darkened ones. Both stood and walked toward each other, seeping into the crowd. They danced. They danced as they had on New Year's so very long ago. They danced like they did when it all began. A pure, raw beat moving them, making them forget where they were- who they were.

They only stopped when they started to notice people leaving. 2D glanced at his watch, 3:46 am. "We got to go," he tried to speak over the music. The bassist looked at him and held a hand up to his ear. Leaning in close he said, "Let's go to the flat." Both men made their way out to the street and grabbed a cab.

Stepping into the hotel suite they both walked into Murdoc's room. Russel and Noodle were long since asleep so they were quiet until they closed the door. "'M sleeping wiff yew tonight, awright?" The singer tossed off his shirt and flopped onto the bed.

Murdoc sat on the edge of the bed and looked over at him. _I love him. I hate him._ "Stuart.." The boy furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at him. He opened his mouth as if to speak but no words came. Pale fingers reached up and wove themselves in ebony tufts. 2D pulled slightly, making the bassist bend to his level. Dented eyes searched for something in Murdoc's, something he desperately needed to find- but never would.

They closed the gap between them. _Tonight.. It will end tonight. I can't do this anymore._ The bassist pulled 2D on top of him and let him nibble his neck.

_I can make it work, Murdoc._ "Let me make you feel good," the singer ghosted into his ear.

_Tonight is his night. I'll give up tonight and then I'll never worry about it again. Because really, this isn't supposed to be happening. _ "Okay." His mouth was covered with the boy's. Clothes were slipped off but movements were slow and deliberate. Grabbing a condom from Murdoc's pants he rolled it on, but didn't enter. Instead he leaned over the older man and kissed him, twisting his hands in his hair, pressing their chests together, trying to get as close as possible.

Bringing the lube from the suitcase he readied himself and gently placed the head at Murdoc's entrance. His face lowered a bit and a ting of sadness hinted in his voice. "This will 'urt, I won't lie to ya, Muds." He slowly entered and above him a hiss of air escaped the dark haired mans lips. Trying his hardest to keep quiet, "Muuuuuurdoc."

2D held still, kissing the bassists neck. He only moved when Murdoc contracted around him. All the times before were about sex, about getting off. This was love. It was 2D's only chance to truly show him how much he meant to him. "Are yew, nngh, okay?"

A low groan was his answer. He lifted Murdoc's hips and moved his legs over his shoulders. Keeping his plodding pace he leaned over and kissed him. "It can be like 'is. We can do it." He gave a sudden, sharp thrust which caused the bassist to stifle a groan. "Just like this. A'ways." Olive hands pulled him down for a kiss. Listening to that wasn't something he could handle right now.

_I love you. I hate you. I love you. _The older man broke the kiss and grit his teeth as the quickening pace started really hitting his prostate. His breathing became hitched in his throat. The tender nature of this was tearing at his mask, making him vulnerable. It was so close, so perfect, so _intimate._

2D pressed their foreheads together. "Nnnah, a'ways." With that he came in sporadic thrusts but kept going until the bassist came as well, ribbons of white in between their warm bodies. They stayed joined for a moment. "I love you," soft words blended into a sigh- but they hit their mark. He held the condom in place as he pulled out then got up to throw it away.

Before returning to bed he downed his medication and flicked off the light. Crawling into bed he curled up next to Murdoc but the bassist kept his back to him. Because he would never let him see the few tears falling from his eyes. He opened his mouth but realized if he spoke nothing would hold the words back.

He almost wanted to let go. Just let the flood gates open, tell 2D that it _should_ always be this way, always. But he knew he never could and he just had to get past the next few days. If he could get through the rest of the time in Japan without thinking about Stuart, he could let go. And in the end that is what he had resolved to doing. _Because you're not really good for him. It's not how things are. Would never work._

_But that's just because he deserves better…_


	16. Chapter 16: Que Pasa Contigo

**Chapter 16: Que Pasa Contigo**

"Yeah, mum? Yew went and got Prince from Kong, right?" 2D was lying on the top bunk of one of the bus's bunk beds. His feet fell over the edge, holy socks exposing parts of his feet. "Wait, wot?" He sat up. "The company blocked off our house? Why tha.. Are yew serious? That's well weird! Hold on a second, mum." The boy jumped off the bed and walked up towards the front of the bus where the rest of the band was. "Guys, my mum jus' said tha' the comp'ny isn't letting anyone in our 'ouse anymore. Said there was a bloke runnin' 'round naked an' screaming 'is bloody head off."

The bus driver sniggered and the rest of the band just gave him weird looks. "Runnin' around with no pants on? In my house?" Murdoc crossed his arms and exhaled noisily. "Greaaaat."

"So no one's allowed in? Did they at least lock the place up?" The drummer looked up from brushing the grit out of a dead squirrel. He had taken a liking to taxidermy while touring the states. Now it was common to see him working on one animal or another. The man really did take pride in his work, however strange it may be.

2D put his hand over the receiver, "I should 'ope so otha' wise.." He paused and then spoke into the phone frantically. "Wait, mum, yew did get Prince out, right? I dunno wot I'm gunna' do if 'e's stuck-." His body visibly relaxed as he gave a sigh of relief. "Awright then. Make sure 'e gets fed free times a day. And don't give 'im too many treats or he'll get fat. Oh, and be sure ta tell him I love 'im, okay? Fank you, mum. Talk to you lata."

The singer pressed the end button and shoved the phone into his back pocket. Sinking onto the couch he looked over at the playstation controller. The once exciting device now held no amusement after playing it nonstop for over two months. It was no lie that the tour across North America was wearing on everyone's nerves. Noodle had shut herself up in the bedroom and the band only seemed to see her on stage.

As for Murdoc he was often seen with his nose in a book. He had taken to conjuring up all sorts of 'sprites', as he called them. The floor in front of his bunk bed had a wax pentacle poured straight onto the carpet. But he was allowed to continue summoning all sorts of life seeing as Russel was getting more and more involved in his own thing.

2D was starting to really notice the divide between the members. The only time they really seemed together was when they were on stage. This he was thankful for, they were finally getting good reviews from the media and all the kinks that had happened before seemed to iron themselves out. But the boy longed for the days when he sat around with his bandmates and watched the tellie together.

Closing his eyes he listened to the radio that filtered in from one of the rooms near the back of the bus. _And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words, although they did not feel. For I felt what I had not felt before and you'd swear those words could heal. And as I looked up int-_ He rolled his eyes and shouted for whoever was playing that to get some head phones. Though he couldn't help remembering that Murdoc had said the same thing and he had ended up getting his stereo thrown out the moon-roof.

A frown slid across his face as he found himself being pulled into his thoughts more often. Getting up he walked to the sleeping room and clambered up to his bunk. Searching through his sheets he pulled out three socks, a tee-shirt, and finally a bottle of pills. He downed two and laid back against the wall. Azure strands of hair fell messily on his face, though he made no motion to move them.

"Ego sum te peto et uidere queo!" There was a sound from below him that sounded as if something was caught on fire. 2D leaned over the bunk and looked at Murdoc below. A griffin the size of a medium breed dog was clawing its way out of the wax pentagon. "Ah haha, yeah." The bassist congratulated himself as the creature's keen eyes searched the bus. "Here yew are, mate. Take a drink a this!"

Murdoc shoved his tequila bottle into the griffin's mouth and tilted it up, causing alcohol to spill onto the floor. "Wot tha Hull are yew doin'?" Blackened eyes looked frightened as they stared at the mythical creature. "'Ow'd yew do that? 'Ey aren't real."

The older man looked up at his bandmate and frowned. "Yew know, 2D. You're a real party pooper. Leave it to yew to make this boring."

He screwed up his face. "I didn't do anyfink. I jus' asked how'd yew do 'at and-"

"Yeah and I said yer gettin' on my last nerve, Faceache." With that he stood, "Come with me my fine friend." The bird lion animal padded after Murdoc, leaving 2D alone in the room.

The singer slumped down, resting his chin on the railing of the bunk. His eyes clung to where the bassist was last, as if staring at the spot would somehow bring him back. Giving a soft sigh he rolled over. The bus gave a lurch and stopped on the side of the road. One of the stage hands passed through his room, as he walked by he mentioned that they were just now crossing the border.

This made 2D peek open the blinds next to the bed. Outside he could see a long fence stretching across the arid plain. A childish grin appeared on his face as he remembered the childhood tales of el chupacabra. Then the thought of chupacabra brought on a strong urge to watch a zombie film. Feeling relieved from stress he jumped off the bunk and made his way to the main part of the bus to watch movies.

--

_The ground all around me is in turmoil. Shells exploding left and right, dust clouding my vision. "Zutto tsuzukete!" The children next to me.. Are they my friends? "Jag sade att vi behövde gå!" _

_"Ja! Jag kommer." I weave along the ground, trying not to bump into the other kids, trying not to get blown to bits. Suddenly one of the children, a small boy, slams into my side. The force knocked me to the ground. I had just missed stepping on a land mine. What is happening?_

"_Ki o tsukete, Noodle-san. Shindenai yo." The boy grabbed my hand and we ran off to this building. There were more kids here. More than fifteen.. Juushichi, juuhachi, dix-neuf, vingt, __zweiundzwanzig, einundzwanzig..__Twenty three including me. The door closes and the sounds of battle are muted, I can finally catch my breath. _

_"Bien, bien. Bonne course, tout le monde. L'entraînement de défense est complet. Prenez vos armes, nous allons commencer l'entraînement d'attaque." I was handed a guitar. Holding it close I watch as the others are handed various things, from samurai swords, strips of cloth, a hand gun.. What are we doing here? What do you want me to do? "Klara, färdiga - och gå!"_

--

A scream sounded from the somewhere on the bus, causing Noodle to jolt from her sleep. 2D was watching the newly released Resident Evil movie. The guitarist sat up in her bed and looked around the room. She had been having nightmares. Things from her past.. images half forgotten; she couldn't shake free from their malevolent grip. Dark circles had found a home under her eyes and in the last few weeks she had slept very little.

She reached for her guitar and held it close to her body. Clutching the instrument; her green eyes scanned the room for any signs of life. The noise of everyone seeped into her small room, making her feel cut off and alone. Her body shivered and she held the guitar ever closer.

There was a knock at the door. A stage monitor popped his head in and told her they were nearly to the hotel. The door was shut and she was once again alone. She shook her head wearily, causing dark strands of hair to fall onto her face. There had never been a time when Noodle was so tired. Her inner peace had been shaken and she was struggling to find out why her mind was betraying her.

Murdoc shouted from the back of the bus. A slur of curses and vulgar sayings about someone's mother soon followed. Shaking hands fumbled along the floor; trying to find her radio hat. She found it and shoved it on her head. Giving a long sigh she turned it on and ambled out to the front of the vehicle.

When Noodle walked into the room 2D was curled up on the couch, staring wide-eyed at the television screen. It was dark outside the bus. She sighed, realizing she had probably missed dinner. Incandescent light shone brightly from the tellie and from the neon lights of the city they were passing through. The small girl sat down quietly on the sofa and looked up at the screen. Her eyes looked blankly as the protagonist ran from skinless dogs.

From the back of the bus there was the sound of a beer bottle hitting the wall; that noise had become familiar to her now, and once again Murdoc's mouth ran off finding all sorts of colourful language. After a moment the door leading to the tv room flew open and the bassist marched in, trying to keep his blood from falling on the floor. He walked straight past 2D and Noodle and they followed him with wide eyes.

Murdoc's face had been the target of the bottle it appeared. It had left a nasty gash running down the side of his face from where shards had connected and no doubtedly stung from the remnants of alcohol in the glass. He threw up his arms and shouted at the bus driver to "Pull the bloody fuck over." The bus rolled into a parking lot, and by this time most of the people on the bus had piled into the room to see what was going on.

A shifty-looking man was laughing and looking at Murdoc, saying how he 'was sorry, man.' The bus door slid open and the bassist stepped out. He walked a metre or so then turned around to the man, who was now standing in the doorway, to yell back "Sod you!" Blood from other minor cuts were now becoming prominent and speckles of the stuff sprayed off of his lips when he had yelled.

Everyone watched as he just walked away, pausing only the kick a rubbish bin and light a fag. The man stood in the doorway a moment before a rather drunken clown quite literally kicked him out of the bus. The doors shut and the wheels turned, leaving the bassist and his offender in the Mexican night air.

"Oi! Yer leaving 'im out there? Wot about our show?" 2D looked around; almost panicky.

Russel said flatly, "If he wants to get lost for a few days let him. He wouldn't miss the concert, he likes the girls afterward. Besides, I'll enjoy the quiet." And with that the drummer went back to work on his animals. The groupies felt a little lost with their head honcho now gone so they slowly filtered back to the end of the bus to… do whatever it is they all did back there.

--

"So you're _sure_ he'll be back in time, yeah?" It had been two days since they had last seen the bassist. There were no phone calls and no one had seen hide nor hair of him. During this time the keyboardist had become very restless, always looking around and fidgeting.

"2D, shut up. He will come." Noodle had stopped sleeping since Murdoc left. The lack of sleep was obvious, not only by her physical appearance but by her mood. She snapped at nearly everyone now, her usually calm persona long gone.

They were at the venue setting up for their last show of the tour. It was the end of their first run through, the basic drill that had become so mundane now. The main issue was that they didn't realize that Mexico had different power outlets, so they had to send someone out to get the converters. Each member was ready for the tour to be over and done.

2D sat behind the big screen and looked across the stage, his foot tapping against the floor. "Can we be done today? I really don't wan' 'a be here anymore." The stage director told them that there were a few glitches in the sound system but nothing that shouldn't be fixed by tomorrow.

"So yes, you all can go for today. Don't forget to be here at least an hour before we start, I don't want any hold ups." The director hollered at some of the workers in their native language and one again started tweaking the projector. The band mates gathered up what few things they needed to and grabbed a cab back to the hotel. While the ride itself was uncomfortable; Russel sweating on one side, Noodle looking very annoyed at the singers constant twitching, and 2D pressed against the other side, it was all made okay by the fact that in thirty minutes they could be away from each other for the rest of the day.

The Gorillaz really had deteriorated over the past months. When they got to the hotel each went into a separate room. 2D heard the shower start up in the room to his left; the guitarist was taking another cold shower to wake herself up. The smog outside his window made it seem as if all of this wasn't real.

Staring blankly out at the crowded streets he couldn't help but search for Murdoc. He was feeling incredibly alone with the bassist gone. It was almost alright before, just having him around if he needed to see him. Once again he tried to call the bassist's mobile; he always hung up when he got the answering machine.

Tiredly rubbing his eyes he vaguely wondered if Murdoc really would come back for the show. It was unlike the singer to be so nervous. But it had been a long time since they last had some time alone- Hell since they last had a real conversation. He couldn't help but think the Satanist was avoiding him. Slowly his mind clouded over, fading around the edges, just like the city outside. The medicine he had taken was finally kicking in and he was oh so willing to let it take him over.

--

People spilled into the stadium space earlier than planned. In fact there were a lot more people than expected, nearly 60,000 people were either pouring in or waiting to. As the mass moved closer to the stage Russel paced around trying to find someone who could do something about their current lack of a bassist. They had all been sure he'd be there but as show time grew ever nearer everyone became visibly distressed.

The large screens rolled down over the stage and the LCD projectors were connected and ready to play when needed. A large blow-up gorilla from Rock Da House had been inflated, and everything appeared to be ready to go. The drummer was currently trying to speed teach one of the groupies who knew how to play bass the songs on the set list.

Slowly a lone helicopter flew over the concert arena and hovered over the stage. A rope ladder flew out of the cockpit. Out from the chopper Murdoc hastily, and clumsily, climbed down and onto the stage. He staggered over to the center of the stage and pulled 2D's mic down to his level. "Yeawright, les- le's get this showon tha road." The drunken man held up a nearly empty bottle of tequila; to which the crowd roared it's approval.

Finding his way back stage Russel turned from stressed to pissed when he saw Murdoc sauntering around. Noodle was trying to hold her tongue but it was obvious that if she had the language skills to chew him out he'd be in a world of hurt. He lurched toward 2D and slung his arm around his thin shoulders. "Heeey, if it isn't m' favourite fagg't."

Stu recoiled slightly at the heavy sent of alcohol coating Murdoc's breath. "'ey, yeah.. don' call me tha', okay?" He hooked his thumb in the bassist's belt loop to steady his gate. Looking around at all the people now staring angrily at him he ducked down to speak with his friend quietly. "Le's go 'ave a chat in tha bafroom.." Giving a tug on the others pants he guided both of them to the restrooms and shut the door promptly behind them.

"Wot the Hell is goin' on? Where've yew been? 've been so worried over yer sorry arse." As 2D spoke his fingers wound into Murdoc's hair and he planted little kisses on his face. "Why'd yew neva answer your mobile? Are ya trying to-" Olive hands shoved the disheveled boy off of him.

"Get owrf me ya poof!" He rubbed his face and looked up angrily at his offender. "I ent doin' any- any a tha stuff again. Murdoc Fucking Niccals, does _not_ do blokes."

2D straightened up and looked slightly confused for a moment. "Wot are you on about?" He spoke angrily, as if trying to defend himself.

"I'm on- I'm _on_ about 'ow I'm not gunna fuck around anymore. Not wiff yew, queery." Venom laced his words as he looked over at the singer.

"Wot tha hell, man? Where'd all this tripe come from?"

"Because, mate, yew were a pity fuck." To this 2D laughed dryly, his eyes narrowing. "I''s tha truth. You're a 'orrible lay, and ya don't mean a fing ta me so we're stoppin' this righ' now. Riiiigh' now."

"You're kidding. You're just drunk now, right? Yew don't mean tha'."

"Listen, yew think I'm just joshing you? Tha only reason I even 'ave you around is cause you're a good singer. An' even that is debatable; I think I could do betta, really."

"Stop it." 2D raised his hand as if to strike the bassist but arm was caught then twisted painfully.

Threw sneering teeth, "Yew best stay away frum me, Stu-Pot, because this was ova before it started." He released his grip on 2D and spat on the floor before turning to leave. "No 'appy endings."

As the bassist bumbled out of the bathroom the meaning of those words fully sunk in. "Oi! Oi, no. No, you're lying! Murdoc. MURDOC! You don't mean tha. You don't, Murdoc.." 2D stood there a moment, staring blankly at the restroom door. He gave a strangled almost whimper and his arms moved to cross over his chest, his long fingers gripping at the opposite shoulder, trying to protect what he could feel ripping apart. "I.. I loved you, Murdoc, I.."

Tears finally spilled over, running down his face only to fall on the dirty floor below. His mouth quivered, slightly open; as if he couldn't say the words in his head. He felt sick to his stomach as his mind started replaying all of their good times together- a broken record for a brain. Walking over to one of the stalls he leaned heavily against it as he cried a little harder. "Fuck, yew really are a girl aren't you?"

2D tried to stifle the sobs he knew were coming while the record player kept skipping and replaying the future he had planned for the two of them. Turning slightly he saw himself in the mirror, black sockets leaking salt water with disheveled blue hair pieced together on sickly pale skin. "Disgusting." He rubbed his eyes, trying to make the tears stop, and went into a stall to hide from whoever might have come in.

After nearly an hour Russel came into the rest room. "Hey 'D! We're running forty-five minutes late, man. What's keeping you?" The singer paused and tried to think of a reason no one would doubt. A childhood memory flashed through his mind. A memory of a student being late to class and telling the teacher explosive diarrhea was the reason. The class knew he was jerking off in the bathroom but the teacher didn't want to think he would lie about such a thing so he sat down in class, no detention or anything.

"I-I ate a bad burrito last night, Russ. I can't leave.. you know wot I'm gettin' at?" He wiped his eyes and held his breath, hoping that response would be enough.

There was a pause for a couple beats before a small 'oh' reached his ears. "Okay. You uh, you stay in there then. Just, you know, get out here as soon as you can."

It was two hours later that the band performed their last show, kicking it off with M1 A1. No one could tell anything had been wrong. He had waited to regain his composure before he faced the world. And as far as they knew it was a beautiful last concert. After the performance they only had a few days before they flew to Cali, plans to make a movie in mind.

But the singer's mind was currently out of order.


	17. Chapter 17: I'm Never Speaking Up Again

"_Every great band is destroyed by their success. Cartoon bands are no exception."_ -Noodle

**Chapter 17: I'm Never Speaking Up Again**

2D silently willed the cab to drive faster. The young guitarist sitting next to him gently bobbed her head as she shifted from conscious, to unconscious and consciousness again. He rested his hand on her leg, making her smile softly. When the group arrived back at the hotel the first thing the singer did was down pills. After their show he just didn't want to feel anymore.

After an hour everything felt surreal. He had taken three antipsychotic pills; normally taken for sleeping, the pills simply slow brain activity—makes everything 'quiet'. Dented eyes watched the rest of Gorillaz move around the room. "Okay, Damon, where's Jamie? We need to seriously start talking about what we want to do with this movie thing. We're not sure ourselves and it'd be really nice to get his help."

Russel waved letters from California in his hand as he spoke. "Everyone has these script plans and we have plane tickets to go. But between you and me," he leans in closer to Damon, "I think we might be needin' a break, ya dig?" The drummer made a small motion with his shoulder in the direction of 2D.

The Blur singer nodded, "Jamie should be here shortly, I fink he said somfin about lingerie…"

"That fool is cracked." Russel shook his head and went to go sit down. As he made himself comfortable Jamie walked in accompanied by Cass.

"Why're we all so glum, 'ey? You guys just finished the last show of the tour, 'at's gotta feel good." He gave an almost crooked smile at the group. However no one seemed to really be interested in his words, everything in one ear and out the other. "Well don't everyone be making so much noise with yer cheering, please." The artist sat down next to 2D on the bed and kicked off his shoes.

Cass looked hopefully over at Russel. "What have you been thinking about Hollywood, Russ?"

The man shook his head, "I'm not so sure on it myself. We're all pretty tired from all the moving, I think it'd be nice to relax at Kong for a bit."

2D's head picked up at hearing 'Kong,' though he didn't say anything. "Well I think yew all are bloody shtupid if you think we're passing up being in a film." The bassist had his arms crossed and a scowl firmly planted on his face. "We can't stop now, we're Gorillaz. And there's nothing _my_ band can't do."

Damon smiled at the words. "That sounds like a good answer to me. Jamie, they were wanting your opinion on it."

"I'd want him in on directing it. You've done all our music videos and they've been hits. Think you could do a movie?" Russel looked over at the artist.

"Yeah, I could probably weasel my way in there somehow.."

"It doesn't even matta wot you lot say because we're going and that's that." Murdoc looked across the room to see if anyone opposed him. When he saw no blatant objections he nodded firmly. "And it's settled."

2D gave a soft sigh and rubbed his head before falling back on the bed. Damon looked over at him but saw that the singer's eyes were closed. He shrugged and stood to leave. "I think it's time we let you all settle a bit. We know you're knackered." The man motioned for Jamie and Cass to follow as he stepped out the door.

The young guitarist lifted her gaze up at Murdoc for a quick assessment of his mood before turning towards 2D. She laid down next to him, her dark hair feathering against his pale skin. Her lack of sleep left dark purple bags under her eyes that resembled the bruises the singer had around his own. "Murdoc-san. We need sleep." He looked at her with an almost glare. "Please."

With that Murdoc only huffed a large sigh. "Fine, if the kids need sleep." He walked into the adjacent room to watch some tv. From the couch he yelled, "We'll stay here for a few more days then we're off to Hollywood."

2D made a soft groan and rolled away from Noodle so his face was buried in the covers. His head was swimming but still managed to hurt. He slowed his breathing and tried to concentrate on counting his breaths. Before long his mind slowly slipped into sleep.

--

"No, no. Go put that back, dent head." The singer looked almost angrily at Murdoc.

"But Noodle got her silly fings and I neva get wot I want." Noodle clutched her stuffed animals to her chest as if trying to protect them from being taken away. Her eyes narrowed slightly, silently yelling at him for bringing the negative attention towards her.

The bassist rubbed his eyebrows with his thumb and index finger wearily. "'D, she's a little girl. You're a big boy now. Put. It. Back."

His mouth twisted into a frown as his hands tightened around the old pong set he was holding. He opened his mouth to retaliate but Murdoc looked up and that destructive glint in his eyes became all too apparent. Today was not the day to try his luck.

He trudged tiredly to put the pong set back. They had been in Hollywood nearly a month and had rented a house on Mulholland Drive. Russel had met up with some friends on their first week there. They seemed to be having a very positive influence on him, boosting his confidence in his music.

As for Noodle she was starting to get more sleep. Nightmares still plagued her mind but she had time to go to a dojo and get some frustration out. The added exercise really helped her, and combined with a small plush Murdoc had bought her she fell asleep easily now.

But while the bassist busied himself more and more with the ladies of Hollywood (namely those at a certain Mr. Hefner's house), 2D fell more and more into himself. It was starting to get to the point where he rarely spoke to anyone and struggled to keep track of time.

He listened to the steady beeping of the cash register—which sounded strangely like a heart monitor. His form slumped over slightly as he waited with his band mates in line. It seemed like an eternity before they left and were on their way to the house.

The band pilled into their home and 2D made a beeline for the couch. He rubbed his face in the pillow, wondering if he could press himself hard enough against the sofa if he'd just become part of it. Noodle sat next to him along the back of the couch. Absent-mindedly she tapped little rhythms on 2D's back. Murdoc looked around the room and noted the general low enthusiasm for being there.

He gave a long sigh, slumping deep into one of the armchairs. They had been there so long and no one had started filming yet. In fact, they didn't even have a script planned out. Piles started to form from all the unread scripts but Murdoc said it was all just rubbish. They needed a director before they could really get started.

2D rolled onto his back, looking blankly at the ceiling. He moved his lips around, feeling their chapped outside give way to the slickness of his inner lip. Murdoc watched him with a raised eyebrow. The silence hung in the room heavily. Somewhere along the line the band had found themselves at odds with each other.

Eventually it was Russel who stood. "Well, not that this isn't interesting an' all. But if we're not going to be doin' anything I have some friends I'd like to be with."

Murdoc looked over listlessly, "You 'ave friends?"

The drummer ignored the comment and walked out of the house. Listening to the door shut 2D felt as if he could count how many times that would happen before he left for good.

A part of him seemed to clench in his chest.

But he ignored it.

Time passed in that house oddly. It could have been five minutes later that Murdoc left, or it could have been an hour. He rolled over to Noodle who was now laying along the back of the couch like a big cat. From what he could hear she had fallen asleep, feeling safe with her band mates around her. Panic flashed as he worried about being the only one protecting her in this strange place. But it faded. And soon so did he, because Noodle was good and Noodle didn't hurt.

--

2D woke up at 4 am and started because his guitarist wasn't asleep next to him anymore. He stood up and looked around, almost wildly. There was a big sigh when he saw the little note pad with a note scrawled out in her handwriting. His eyes couldn't read it in the low light but the fact that she had left a note meant he didn't have to worry.

The world outside his window was dotted with headlights and neon 'closed' signs. There was a faint humming as the air conditioner came on. Stuart sunk back down on the couch, hands smothering over his face. His breaths came easy, though he could never figure out why. He didn't want to sleep alone. Hated it now more than ever. Somehow it just seemed to make him feel hollow.

Darkened eyes slowly opened to gaze out the window. They followed stray cars on their journey across the city. He wished things were simple again. Simple like they were in Kong, with Prince, and the spray-painted bathroom walls, and his room in the basement. Those halls were probably festering with zombies now though. With no one living at Kong there was nothing to stop them from getting in.

What was he doing? This was all so stupid. He shouldn't be this upset, because really, it wasn't that big of a deal, was it? His thin frame fell against the couch. But he was upset. His mind longed to use words like broken, shattered, betrayed—but he knew that was just being melodramatic. And yet the ache in his chest still hung heavily in the same place, day in, day out.

--

At long last film director Alfred C. Klinker took the Gorillaz under his metaphorical wing. The band had sort of been wandering around before then, days blending into nights into weeks, creating what 2D would call life in limbo. But with Mr. Klinker there he started up filming post haste. Everyday the band would drive over to the studio and film for a few hours.

It was Noodle who started to notice their director's strange behaviour first. It seemed as if the script was changing daily. She was bothered by the fact that they didn't even have a copy of the script themselves. After two week the rest of the band had caught on and realized that their director was just making things up as he went along.

Feeling the pressure from the rest of the band, mainly Russel, Murdoc snuck into the film room one night. Olive fingers carefully picked out a roll of film and started playing it on a projector. And that was it. There was no film. It was hours of blackness recorded.

That was around when the bassist decided it was high time to ditch this no name director—but not before he burned all the blank films. As a celebration for getting rid of that muppet Murdoc decided to throw a house party. Little did he know however, that many of the guests would never end up leaving.

2D blinked awake and looked out at their pool to see a few girls and a very naked Satanist tanning in the sun. He frowned deeply. Dark eyes then moved over his room to see another bird—probably from the playboy mansion—lying in the doorway.

He frowned even more.

Getting up, he walked into the living room to find more people he didn't know. He looked around for Russel, but both he and Noodle were gone. Feeling very small he wished he could be back at Kong. This type of atmosphere always made him feel like he was intruding.

As he walked to the front door and stepped outside he realized the sweltering heat of summer was ebbing away as August approached. Looking up and down the road the singer sighed. He didn't like it here, not like this. There was always someone around but that never seemed to quell the constant abandoned feeling within him.

…

"Okay now ev'ryone shut up. I said shyaa duup!" Murdoc was standing on the coffee table, trying to gain the room's focus. When it appeared no one was planning on listening he pulled out his handgun and fired an empty round. The sound resonated and after such a loud bang the room seemed eerily quiet.

"Well, now that I have your alls attention." He straightened up, looking proud of himself. "The 'Rillaz are no longer going to stay in this piece of crap house." The 'guests' all gasped and looked around at each other, wondering where they could bum a place to stay. "And in light of all the turdy scripts everyone has given us, I've decided, _I've_ decided that we are going to make our own script."

Noodle scowled at the idea, Russel ran a hand down his face, and 2D… 2D just sat there. Because it didn't matter if any of them thought it was a rubbish idea, Murdoc had made up his mind.

--

The air in room 103 was hot and the open window did nothing to help it. In the last month the hotel room they were staying in continued to get more and more trashed.

"But wot if, here, we'll start wiff a car chase. It'll be about a band, no a gang… of spies!" 2D looked around to see if anyone was going to take the idea.

Murdoc bit, "On the run! No wait, we'll shoot it in Malibu. It'll be like 'Dr. No' meets 'The Last Waltz'." He smiled, a wild glint appearing in his eyes. Who said they weren't made out for this script-writing thing? It was a piece of cake.

But the drummer wasn't buying it. He heaved a sigh; with the heat getting to him his patients was running dry. "How about this," he started in a sarcastic voice, laced with just a hint of venom. "A bullying egomaniac bass player is convinced he can rule the world. He makes life a misery for the other members of his band with his narcissistic displays. Fate takes a hand, though, when he develops a disease, one that simply attacks the part of the brain that contains the ego. This is manifested by a huge boil that appears on the skull." He looked sourly at Murdoc.

However, the Satanist was seriously considering the idea, too wrapped up in his 'new found talent' to realize Russel was talking about him. "Hmmm…not bad. Then what happens?"

2D piped up, "Er… he discovers that he's not tha only one. There's thousands a the big-headed tossers falling victim to 'is disease around the world. The papers are full of 'ese plague-ridden celebrity-obsessed nobs."

"Wow! This is good." Murdoc grinned, all teeth. "I can't believe I've just come up with an idea like this. What shall I put next?"

It was Noodle who spoke up this time. Though her words were slow and not without pauses it was incredibly obvious she had been learning a lot while her band mates were preoccupied. "Maybe this. It is revealed that this disease is nature's way of getting rid of the unwanted, destructive part of society.

"All of the people who's ego has outgrown their talent, receive the boil; the growth is the boil on the head of humanity. It is time for it to be removed." Russel put his face in his hands, apparently everyone had missed the point of his pitch. The guitarist continued, "On a certain given day all of the afflicted instinctually gather zombie-like in the middle of a stadium ground, where they are obliterated by a burning bright light that appears from the sky."

Staring pointedly at Murdoc the drummer tried again. "The only way to avoid this fate would be to awake from your ignorance, your over-inflated self-opinion, and realize that your talent, however great, doesn't entitle you to act like a pain in the ass constantly."

Nodding his head thoughtfully Murdoc started up again. "So. Hmmm. Does the character have this revelation? Is he saved? Or not?"

Glowering at him, "I don't know, Murdoc. You haven't written the ending yet. Does the bullying bass player have an epiphany that saves him? Or is he removed from the face of the planet with the rest of the grime? You tell me."

"Hmmm… tricky. I'll come back to that in a bit." Fingers began to clack away at the typewriter as he wrote down all that had just happened.

Finding all of this to be too much Russel simply stood and left the room without a backward glance. Again, 2D counted in his head. _Down to one hand… won't be long now._

--

The incessant sound of the typewriter had slowed down to a near halt in the past week. Room 103 was in shambles, room service refused to come by—though that could have been Murdoc's note saying "Go away. Door is electrified. Room contains lions." Dirty plates and pizza boxes were piled beside the door. If you listened long enough you were sure to hear someone groan in agony from within.

Tension was running high for everyone in the band. If they had thought things before were bad they could have never imagined it would get worse. The smoke seeping out from under the door was a testament to how many fags Murdoc and Russel needed to smoke in order to stay at a relative sane.

2D was running on several cups of coffee and continued prattling on about different movie ideas. "I've got a good idea. Here's one. Okay. It's set in a beach town in America an' unknown to the local residents and tourists 'ere's a giant killer shark lurkin' in the waters."

The bassist shot back, "That's actually 'Jaws', yew useless goon." Things had been going on like this for hours. Russel gave up and just sat in the corner, fag hanging limply from his mouth. Noodle had been trying to figure out what he was staring at for some time but decided he must have checked out for the moment.

"Well, I've got another."

Murdoc pinched the bridge of his nose, "Don't go into the whole thing. Just gimme the 'Elevator Pitch'."

"Oh, okay. How about this? This is good." His eyes were animated, this was the first time in months that Murdoc had paid so much attention to him. Maybe if he found a good plot he'd thank him. Or give him a hug. Or let them sleep together again. Or…

"It's about four people stuck in an elevator and they can't leave until they come up with a good story for a film. It's called 'Elevator Pitch'. We could get Colin Farrell to play you."

Murdoc stood up, pulling at his hair. "Aaaarrrrgggggghhhh!!! What are we doing here? We're musicians, not script-writers! And you jus' keep on talking an' talking with that shtupid voice of yours. You're talkin' complete nonsense, yew little fagg't."

He hated that word. Hated that it was true and that the man he'd slept with was saying it. Hated that when the bassist said it it seemed to sound like 'whore.'

At that point 2D stood up as well. He looked down at Murdoc, hands curling into fists and trembling. "Yew want a really good movie script, Murdoc? How 'bout a band is started by a singer and a bassist and they sleep in the same bed togeva every night. And somehow," he started spitting out the words. "By some twisted act of God no doubt, va singer falls in love wiff the bassist. For a little bit they get together. You know? But 'at bassist, he's a sick sod. 'E goes an', get this, 'e goes and tells the singa that 'e was just a pity fu—"

The Satanist snapped. He lunged forward and wrapped his hands around 2D's neck in a desperate attempt to get him to stop talking. A sick smile crept onto his face as he watched the panic grow in the singer's eyes. The assault brought Russel back to the room and he stood up, making himself as tall as he could. "Put him down, Muds. Now."

But Murdoc was completely taken in. That sod of a singer had just given the whole room their story and he'd be _damned_ if that went unpunished. Untrimmed fingernails dug into the skin of his neck. As 2D started to claw at Murdoc's hands, trying to free himself, he was shaken violently.

Russel's voice boomed from deep in his chest. "I said put him down now, Murdoc. Before I do something we're all gonna regret."

In an attempt to save her friend Noodle flung herself off the bed and bit down hard on the bassist's arm. Unfortunately this just resulted in him tightening his grip.

"I aint gonna tell you again. Drop him!" His words were only met by a struggled cry from 2D.

Shaking his head Russel lifted his huge fist and slammed it down hard on Murdoc's head. The bassist let go of his strangle hold and fell to the floor. Choking noises erupted from 2D's mouth as he collapsed backwards onto the couch. He tried to suck in as much air as he could, which only resulted in a lot of coughing and eventually retching before he was able to breathe in lungfuls of air.

Water was streaming from 2D's eyes as Murdoc picked himself up off the floor. He stood there swaying for a few moments, eyes not really focused. After a firm shake he looked around the room. A twisted frown contorted onto his face. "So that's 'ow it is now, huh?"

Russel and Noodle made eye contact while the singer refused to look at him. He coughed some more, nearly retching again, before Murdoc continued. "Right then, my comrades. Enough's enough. It's been an incredible ride for all of us, especially me, but this is my stop. Yew lot lost the plot a long time ago. There's no way I can carry your sorry backsides anymore."

He looked pointedly at 2D. "And you, you little blue haired pigmy sod boy, are way too shtupid to be alive. Let this be known, you've been a curse of banality since I first laid eyes on yew. If it weren't for your precious vocals, I'd have strangled you into a box years ago."

Looking around the room one last time he offered a sneering mock salute. "Happy life an' all that, you losers. I'll see you on the other side. Ciao!" And with the final goodbye in place he walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

AN: Hello lovlies, after nearly a year off I've finally come back. I've gone through and changed some passages up a bit, the only major change being in chapter 9. I told you lot I wasn't finished yet, and here I am! With Plastic Beach on the way I can hardly contain myself. 'Nyway it's almost time for this story to be wrapped up. We're going to have Gorillaz down time, in which I might make a chapter for each of them and talk about that or perhaps just focus on 2D because that's my strongest muse. Up to you all I guess, wot do you want?


	18. Chapter 18: Flight Plan

**Chapter 18: Flight Plan**

The room fell into heavy silence before 2D made a strangled sob cough mix and curled into himself. Noodle stood there, eyes glued to the door. It appeared as if Gorillaz were over. Now what would she do with herself? Did she really have any reason to stay here in LA? Heck, even in America? But her eyes fell to the crumpled singer. She would miss him dearly, just as she would miss Russel, and, despite the recent out break, probably Murdoc as well.

The drummer fell back into his chair and held his face in his hands. It seemed like an eternity until he asked if either of them wanted to head back to the house. They still had a rent on it for a month or so; Noodle gave a nod but 2D stayed behind.

He flinched inwardly as he heard the door close. _So little time left_. Murdoc was gone. He lifted his hand to touch his neck, wincing at the cuts along it. It was going to bruise. That'll be just lovely. Inhaling shakily the singer sunk further into the couch.

Along the edges of his mind he realized that the room had come to smell like the living room in Kong. All of their scents mixing together with a twist of smoke and old food. He squeezed his eyes shut. Part of him wanted to fall into the smell, bring himself back to Kong in the old days. But if he went back there it would only make things worse.

Sitting upright he looked through the window. Los Angeles, the city of angels. What on earth was he doing here? 2D stood up and smothered his face in his hands before walking out of the hotel room.

…

"2D, pst, 2D-kun. Wake up." When the singer opened his eyes and found himself only a few centimeters away from Noodle's face.

He flinched back. "Wh-wot is it? Whyer you wakin' me up?" His voice slurred together with sleep.

The light from outside filtered into the room. A clock on his nightstand told him it was almost 3 am. But Noodle was fully dressed and seemed wide-awake. "2D… I'm going home to Japan now. I need to learn about my past. But, I couldn't leave you in the dark about it and ah…"

Rubbing his eyes, "Wait, Noodle, you're leaving?" He sat up and started fumbling for a tee shirt.

"My flight leaves in three hours… But I need to go now. I—2D, do you think you can come with me to the airport?" Her voice was quiet.

"Noodle, love…" He pulled her up on the bed and hugged her. "You know I'm going to miss you."

The guitarist's arms folded against Stu's chest as she exhaled. Part of her almost didn't want to go; it was a big scary world out there, especially for a twelve-year-old girl. But this was something she had to do. "'D, come on…" She climbed off the bed and picked up her backpack. "The cab should be here soon."

"Eh—really? Awright, awright, 'm gettin' dressed." The girl walked out of the room to wait by the front door. Exhaling softly darkened eyes looked out into the hallway. No one ever told him being in a band with people would make you care so much about them. Sleepily he got dressed and went to wait with Noodle.

As the cab arrived he helped her bring her bags out. The ride to the airport was comfortingly quiet; it felt like they were in their own little world. 2D would later describe the calm he feels when he's with Noodle as their Zen bond. But now they were just them, just two friends parting ways.

LAX was teeming with life even at 3:23 am. The pair slowly made their way to get her bags checked and then to the security gate. They stood before the lines, both knowing that after this they may not see each other again. "2D…" He shook his head slightly before looking down at Noodle. "I… I have your phone number, and I will be sure to call sometimes. But don't worry about me. You know I will be fine."

All he could give her was a smile. She looked down and started worrying the straps of her backpack. Slowly, "Please, Stu, don't be Murdoc's dog. I know he means a lot to you and I have no place to say anything but… You're my dear friend, I don't want you hurt."

Absentmindedly he raised his fingers to his neck. "No, not like that. But hurt you here." She placed a hand over her heart. "Those are the bruises that can take a lifetime to heal. Be careful." Moving forward she buried her face into the singer as she wrapped her arms around him. 2D pulled her closer and awkwardly ignored the tears coming from her eyes.

"I will miss you, 2D." He murmured the same to her before letting her go and watching her disappear into the crowd of people. For a moment he found himself glued to the spot, left shoelace untied and twin watermarks on his yellow shirt. Was this how things fell apart?

--

Morning came too soon as sunlight crept through the blinds and bathed the singer. Dark bags hung under his eyes. He looked around the room, finding himself quite alone. From the other end of the house he could hear Russel playing drums, working on his new CD as 'R Diddy.'

2D rubbed his face, not really knowing what to do with himself anymore. Hearing the drumming stop abruptly and the front door open and close he laid back down. _Time's up._ The singer threw on some clothes and fumbled for his mobile.

After calling a cab he made his way to Britt Ekland's flat. He had seen her around the house before and had originally met him through a friend. She seemed like a nice enough bird. But as he knocked on the door he realized that it probably would have been a good idea to call first, or maybe look in the mirror. But it was too late now. The door opened and the woman that opened the door gaped her playboy mouth. "Oh my God, 2D, what on Earth happened to you?"

He brought up a pale hand and tried to finger-brush his hair. "I don't look that bad do I?"

She took Stuart by the hand and brought him inside. "You have to tell me what happened. Who did that to you? You look like you haven't slept for weeks."

"It's really," the singer tried to take his hand back. "Really, it's not a big deal. I just, I jus' need a place to stay for a bit is all."

"Oh, 2D, make yourself at home. Really. You'll be safe here." Britt brought him through the flat to a spare bedroom. "Here," she smoothed out the bed and laid out on it seductively. "This can be your room."

He scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. "Y-yeah, cheers, really."

Unfazed she came briskly to his side and ran a finger down his arm—he shivered. "If you need anything," she leaned in to whisper in this ear. "I'll be in the other room…"

As she left he walked to the bed and fell into it. He exhaled and mumbled into the fabric of the comforter. Before he realized it he had fallen asleep.

2D awoke with a start to the sound of what seemed like someone who was seriously hurt. But as he gained his head he recognized the noise and pressed a pillow over his head, groaning. It was just like being back at Kong, hearing Murdoc and whoever he brought home that night having at it.

Scrunching up his nose he walked out of the room and looked around the living room. He spotted Britt's car keys and snagged them. She wouldn't mind if he went for a drive for a bit right? She seemed busy enough, wouldn't miss them at all.

Long legs crammed into the small sports car as thin fingers started the ignition. Though driving on the opposite side of everything was weird to do at first he soon got the hang of it. He pushed out onto the outskirts of town and onto the highway, his ipod was hooked into the stereo, which was now blaring music.

The stereo flitted through his music, playing anything from 24 Hour Party People to the Clash. His eyes looked lazily along the dark highway, mind far away. Noodle was finding out about herself in Japan. Russel was starting to work on music again. Murdoc… he didn't know where he went to. But it seemed like everyone was doing something with themselves yet he wasn't.

He rolled down the windows and let the dry wind whip his hair around. An unlit fag hung from his lips. The roadway was deserted, not a soul in sight. If he had been paying attention it would have reminded him of a zombie film.

Without him really noticing, he found the car slowing and pulling to the right. Eventually the vehicle rolled to a stop. 2D stepped out and into the night. There was a small 'fft' noise as he lit his fag. His long limbs climbed up onto the top of the car where he laid on his back.

Tendrils of smoke twisted above him and rose to blend in with the dark blue sky. Bruised eyes stared up at the star littered expanse. He wished he was back in Jamaica. He wished that they had gone home after the Mexico performance. He wished he had never opened his mouth.

Time, like it so often did, slipped away from him. When his bony fingers found his cig carton empty he realized that the first rays of sunlight were starting to creep along the horizon. Slowly he got off the top of the car and made his way back to the Ekland flat.

As the singer slipped into the flat he found it dark and silent. Britt was asleep in her room so he silently crept into his own room to take a catnap.

--

2D shoved sunglasses over his eyes as he walked out into the November sunlight. He'd been living with the playboy model for nearly two months now and realized that he never seemed to see her when she had clothes on. If she did decide to get dressed that day it usually was some small t-shirt or short shorts or maybe a men's button-down shirt.

He ran a hand through his hair and smiled. Sometimes the company was quite nice, but he was always brought back to lonely Kong nights when he heard her with other men. And though he didn't want to admit it at the time, he was losing sleep over it.

Some of the local food stands had come to see Stuart as a common sight—if one could find that possible. The singer was finding himself bored in the city. Though there was plenty of things to do there his money and attention span was running thin.

Perhaps he'd go back to England soon. It might be interesting to help his dad work at the fun fair. He had always said he'd love to have Stuart working alongside him again. Yeah, that might be a good idea. At least he'd be back in the UK, all this American rubbish was getting to his head.

Pulling his mobile out of his back pocket he rang up his dad. "Hey dad, 'ow are you doing? Yeah, yeah, 'm good. But listen, I wos wondering, do you fink it'd be okay if I came back and helped yew out a bit? I mean, you know, if it's awright wiff you." He worried his lower lip for a moment. "Yeah? Cheers dad! I'll buy a ticket tonight, I'll tell yew when I'll be gettin' in. Cheers, bye."

His stomach growled loudly and he scowled. "I guess I should feed you, 'ey?" He scratched his stomach, pulling his shirt so it showed his ever jutting ribcage. Somehow in the last few months he had become very bad at remembering to eat. Usually Britt would tell him to but he'd been seeing less and less of her lately.

Long fingers scratched the back of his head. The last time he had seen her they were in bed together and she had been running her fingers over his ribs. It made him uncomfortable. He knew he was getting thinner but it seemed almost like an insult when she touched him like that.

Letting out a sigh he opened the door to his favourite café in LA. He grabbed a seat and pulled his laptop out of his rucksack. A lot of the people around him paid no mind to him but every now and then he would see someone trying to steal a look. He pretended to be interested in his computer, looking for plane tickets to Gatwick. It only took him a few minutes to grab a flight and have all the arrangements made.

2D exhaled and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. He would miss the warm weather. England would be a rude awakening in that aspect. But he did miss home. And Prince was waiting for him there. He smiled, inadvertently showing off his missing front teeth. Someone let out a small noise and he promptly dropped his gaze. America, everyone's so rude.

…

The next day the singer had packed everything up and was on the plane to England. _Man, eight hours. Haven't had a flight that long in a long time._ In the back of his mind he wondered if Murdoc was back in England as well. He'd probably go to Kong to get his Winnebago then take off. The more he thought about it the more he realized how little he knew about what Murdoc would do with himself now that they weren't in a band together.

_Prolly go and scrump as many girls as 'e could get his hands on._ His mind had bits and pieces of memories, things the bassist had told him when he was comatose. Finding this train of thought unsatisfying he tried to melt into his seat and fall asleep.

"_Mmm, Murdoc what are you doing?" His hand was running along my chest, pulling my shirt up. I smile, can't help it. His nails scratch lightly along my skin and I shiver._

"_I still know how you tick, 'D. I have your soul, you can't hide a thing from me." He pulled on my necklace. Had he taken my soul? I didn't feel any different without it. But maybe that was because Murdoc was here, I do feel a tad empty when he's not. I reach up to pull his hand away but he just takes my jaw and looks me straight in the eye. "You owe me."_

"_I'll give you anyfing." He smiles, the toothy grin that says things are going his way. I do like that smile, always makes me have to fight off a stiffy. But he just brings me closer and kisses me. I think I've melted somehow. The beating of my heart gets louder. He lets go and gives me a confused look. The sound gets louder and I look down at my chest and holy fuck my chest! _

_I've bled through my shirt. If I- I need to get my shirt off and shit! My heart, where's- where's my heart? It's gone, just a hole, just a bloody, bloody hole. But Murdoc, he's smiling, how? He- he has it! It's in his hands. "Muh--Muds, give it back. I need that I'm going--I'm going to pass out. I can't-- I'm going to…"_

2D awoke with a start, clutching desperately at his chest. "Hey, you awright, mate?" The person next to him was talking but he didn't really hear him. He smothered his hands over his chest, making sure he could feel the steady beating. The music that was playing on his ipod was some techno song with a heavy pulse. He realized that it had permeated into his dream.

Looking out the window he saw the rolling plains of England, the patchwork farmland giving way to the city. He sighed with relief. "I'm—yeah, 'm fine. D'you know when we land?"

"Just about fifteen minutes they said." The singer nodded absently and continued to stare out the window. He started gathering up his things and checked his mobile. His dad would be waiting for him at the airport with his car to drive him home.

They landed in Gatwick at 15:46 and all the passengers were restless, ready to get off. Slowly but surely everyone pilled out. When he saw his dad he was swept into a big bear hug. "Ah, here's my son. My good boy." 2D smiled and knew his dad was resisting giving him a noogie. He had spent so little time with them after he was knocked into a coma that they still saw him very much as a kid.

"Hey dad. Are we ready to go? 'Ve already got my bags."

"Yes, yes, of course. Come on." The singer followed his dad out to the carpark and got into the passenger side seat. Most of the ride was spent with his dad telling him about all he'd missed when he was gone. Some of which included Prince destroying his mum's garden, and all the really funny times someone threw up on one of the rides at the fun fair.

It was good to hear his dad talking again. Better yet to hear the easy, everyday problems and events that happened in his life. "But you'll have to tell your mother and I all about the States. It must have been just smashing." 2D smiled softly and mumbled something that was interpreted as a yes.

They arrived home and his dad helped him gather his things. His mother gave him a big hug as he came in and kissed him all over his face. "Muuum, I'm not a kid anymore," he whined.

"Oh I know, I know, but you'll always be a booger to me, Stu." She smiled broadly before starting back into the kitchen. "I'm making dinner, you'll have a nice home-cooked meal."

Stuart gave a soft grin before setting off to the guest room to unpack. It was weird coming home again. Nothing seemed the same, everything slightly off. Perhaps he'd get a flat in a month or so. Then again he'd need to scrounge up some money, but he'd come to help his dad work, right? It should work itself out.

He smiled as the smell of wild mushroom lasagna filtered into the room. His mum had remembered that he was vegetarian, he'd have to thank her later. As he closed one of the drawers he turned and started into the kitchen.


	19. Already Over

I forgot my ipod the other day and so I listened to Plastic Beach on CD on the way to work. And you know... It was a sad sort of thing. I realized how much I loved Gorillaz, how much they gave me. I was in the fandom when the fandom was just a handful of people holding onto a dream that everyone else had moved on from. I found life in the characters, in the music. I found my lover from the well of words that spilt from under my nails. I gave so much of myself to the characters and they were my friends. I would talk to them late at night when I couldn't sleep. They would comfort me when I needed to get away from everything. So much inspiration was stirred up from watching their music videos again and again. _I_ wanted to do that. _I_ wanted to create something from nothing, create something that had never been done before. Jamie Hewlett and his team created _holograms_so these drawn characters could perform beautiful music composed by Damon Albarn. They were Britain's number one creative partnership one year. I wanted that. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it too, that it wasn't just the silly dreams that all artists have. They made something special, and I wanted a piece of it for myself. And back then, when the fandom was small, I had it. I had a part of what made them who they are. I held it dear and it moved me in ways few things have.

So I wrote. I wrote the lives of these characters. I gave them depth, I made them move through words, _I made them real_. I knew I was just holding the place of their creators though. When Murdoc went on the radio and played demos for the third CD I was overwhelmed with joy. Finally I could hand the characters back and wait with baited breath as they were sculpted by the very hands that originally created them. I was _happy_to give them back because I knew they were in good hands.

When Plastic Beach was released I wanted it to be amazing. I wanted it to be great. I wanted it to be everything Demon Days was and more. Things progressed, and we found that this was no longer Gorillaz. It was simply Damon Albarn and all his friends. Hewlett, god bless him, still created despite being tired of the characters. Gorillaz was done and they knew it. Instead of the passionate two men who created this band, gave the characters flesh and bone... it was just one man now, the characters falling flat and fading to the background. I had given a piece of myself to them, and they dropped it. It was no longer about me, about the characters, it was about Albarn and his fans. Thousands of fans. I'd been left behind.

Slowly I stopped writing and waited. I waited for something, anything that gave me a clue the people I loved so much would return. The stunning animation in Stylo was wasted on the music it was set to. Gorillaz are a band after all, you can tell it in a few songs on Plastic Beach... but it's all hollow. At times you can hear in the lyrics, in the way the keyboard is played, that they're still there. Gorillaz are still there, on Plastic Beach, interacting with each other, living, breathing... But then it's gone. It fades into the background and suddenly I know why Murdoc is always drinking, why 2D doesn't want to be there. They're trapped there, physically and mentally. I loved them and they're there, bleeding the colour from their veins.

I gave so much. I feel like 2D. My story for him, I know it's true. He loved Murdoc in Phase 1, head over heels for him. They had a shaky relationship in Phase 2. The Demon Days, a hot, cold, burning relationship together. And then... then the band left. They fell apart. Now, Phase 3, Murdoc tries to cling to the pieces of the people he once knew so very well. But it's over. 2D knows it's over. Noodle and Russel are already gone. Now, I'm watching a sad man clutching the pieces of his career, of his friends, of his lover. But it's gone. Too much pain has left the singer broken, a shadow of his former self. It was 2D who wrote the lyrics to Cloud of Unknowing. He sung it and then couldn't. He couldn't let anyone hear his voice say those words... It was his life. All of it... So someone else sings it on the album that he could barely muster out.

In the end, we're different people. I can't help but feel I've lost something dear. There's no way to go back to what we had, no way to forget all of this and stay in Kong. It's in ashes. I loved them, but it's gone. We all know it's gone, it's just hard to give something that was once so special up...

_On the cloud of unknowing  
My world seems open  
Every satellite up here is watching  
But I was here from the very start  
Trying to find a way to your heart_

All the days are forgetting  
They've gone out with the tide  
Lost at sea somewhere, waiting  
Like setting suns at the rodeo  
Trying to find someone you'll never know

Oh, sinking love  
On the cloud of unknowing  
Every satellite up here is wanting  
Waiting to see what the morning brings  
May bring sunshine on its wings


End file.
